Unknown
by hpgryffy
Summary: Harry returns to the Dursleys after his 6th year at Hogwarts for the last time before setting out on his journey. Things, however, do not go as planned and Harry has to live with the consequences. Post HBP, Rape, Abuse. Read Author's note before readin
1. Prologue: Welcome Home

**This story starts out with extreme physical violence. If you cannot handle this, or do not want to read, please stop here. I have warned you.**

This is the first slash fanfic I've written and I'd appreciate any feedback I can get; negative or positive I don't care. I'm not telling you that it's my first fic so you give me pity and tell me how wonderful it is, I'm telling you so you give me criticism as to how to make it better.

I'm currently looking for a beta for this story, so if you're interested let me know. I'm keeping the fic as cannon-compliant as possible so I'd appreciate any extra help to make sure I accomplish that.

Disclaimer: I'm not JKR, more's the pity. None of this is actually what happens during the 7th book (unless of course I've suddenly become a Seer which is highly unlikely) and is merely for my own enjoyment... and yours too if you so desire. On with the story!

* * *

Prologue: Welcome Home

Harry emerged from Platform 9 ¾ looking sadly at his two friends. They hadn't noticed his withdrawn state on the train ride, but he really couldn't blame them. They had been too busy making their rounds while he had contemplated horcruxes and the mysterious RAB. He turned his gaze from them to the piercing glare of his uncle coming from the car. Sighing to himself he walked away from Ron and Hermione, gritting his teeth and telling himself repeatedly that he only had to stay with them for a few days before he could leave to go searching for Horcruxes. After a week he'd be free of them and after his birthday he'd be free to use magic to hunt Voldemort and his Death Eaters; he'd be free to hunt those who had taken all he'd ever loved away.

"Hurry up boy and get in." Harry looked up at his uncle in surprise. He hadn't even realized that he had made it all the way to the car. "I. Said. Hurry. Up!" Vernon growled and shoved Harry roughly into the backseat of the car, throwing his trunk in on top of him. Harry heard a sickening crunch coming from his lower leg which had been twisted before the trunk was thrown on top.

'What a great way to start the summer.' Harry thought to himself, inspecting the damage already inflicted upon his person. 'Split lip, bloody nose, and a broken ankle. Oh yea, great start.'

During the ride "home" Harry busied himself with pushing as much healing magic as possible into his ankle in an attempt to fix it before he had to walk on it again. He knew that in the past he had healed his breaks when Vernon had been particularly upset with him and decided that for once he would heal the bones on his own and before he was punished for limping. Unfortunately it didn't work and all too soon he was being pulled out of the car and shoved into the house.

Only after throwing his trunk into the heavily padlocked cupboard and adding a few locks to Hedwig's cage did Vernon pay attention to his nephew. Harry was dragged up to his bedroom and locked in. Harry had just settled Hedwig's cage on his desk when his uncle opened the cat flap and began to yell at him.

"Now you listen here boy. There will be none of your freaky ways this year. No one is allowed to come visit you and no one will be coming to take you away. That ruddy bird is to stay in the cage. You will make sure this house remains spotless and do all the chores that Petunia needs help with. No Complaining! If you do one thing wrong it's back to the cupboard for you. Anything after that…. well… use your imagination." The cat flap closed with a bang and Harry shuddered.

"Long summer indeed." He settled back to get some rest now, thinking that perhaps he could get some of his school supplies out later while everyone was asleep. His rest didn't last long, however, because after only an hour his uncle came barging into his room absolutely furious.

"Boy! I told you there would be no freakiness this summer. You have disobeyed me for the last time. You'll regret this, I promise you. You'll regret this."

"I'm sorry sir… I haven't done anything. I've been in my room with no way out." At this his uncle advanced on the bad and Harry subconsciously pushed himself back against the wall.

"Don't lie to me boy! I know you turned Dudley pink and then made him run around the house squealing like a pig." Having finally reached Harry, Vernon punched him in the face. While Harry was regaining his senses after the punch, Vernon stripped him of his clothes and pushed him roughly down onto the bed. He then pulled out three strong ribbons and quickly used them to tie now sobbing Harry facedown on the bed. His hands were tied together and each leg was bound to a corner of the bed. Harry had been left defenseless.

"Uncle Vernon, please… No. I didn't do anything I swear! I can't do magic—." He was cut off when a belt whipped across his back and he screamed in pain.

"I know you did this boy. Don't" He whipped Harry again, "Lie." Again "to" a fourth time, "ME!" The fifth time the belt whipped across his flesh, Harry felt blood start trickling down his back and heard his uncle grin in admiration of his handiwork. The belt lashed out five more times, each time drawing more and more blood until Harry was hovering near blissful unconsciousness. Unfortunately his uncle noticed Harry's lack of attention, and applied pressure to Harry's broken ankle. The pain of that brought him completely back to consciousness as another scream tore through him.

"Oh, did that hurt? Too bad mummy and daddy aren't here to hug you and make it all better." The mocking tone in his voice had Harry growling, and that only made his uncle continue. "I liked that noise. Lets see if we can't hear it again."

Harry listened as his uncle grunted and looked around the room for something, becoming more afraid every moment. Harry felt his uncle return to the bed and a moment later felt himself flipped onto his bleeding back and tied down again. He watched as his uncle raised one of the bars from his windows and brought it down, shattering his femur. The process was repeated down the leg with careful precision make sure to shatter every bit of the femur, and then the knee cap as well. The kneecap on his left leg was also shattered into a million pieces before his uncle dropped the bar and grabbed the leg by the knee and ankle, lifting it up and breaking the bone in the lower leg in two over his fat leg with a sickening snap.

By the time his uncle stopped the torture, Harry was unable to stop screaming. He heard his uncle laugh as he began to cut away at his boxers. It was all Harry could do to stop screaming and stifle the sobs wracking his body; he didn't want to give his uncle that satisfaction. He didn't know how he had avoided this particular punishment for the five previous summers since learning he was a wizard, but it didn't seem like he'd avoid it this time. As his uncle pushed into him without any preparation, Harry lost the battle with himself and screamed bloody murder.

Finally, Vernon came with a roar and a fit of maniacal laughter and pulled himself out of his nephew. He took one look at the freak lying helplessly on the bed, blood and cum mixing together as they flowed freely from his abused body, and punched him one last time in the head. That was all it took before Harry fell blissfully and finally unconscious.


	2. Chapter 1: Revelations

Chapter 1: Revelations

Harry woke up to hushed conversations and the quiet sobs of a female. As things swam into focus, as focused as things got for him without his glasses anyway, he noticed he was in an all white room that smelled clean.

_'How in the world did I get to the hospital wing?'_ Harry had been here often enough to realize when he was waking up in the infirmary, despite the huge headache he was sporting. With a sigh Harry moved to sit up so he could see what was going on and reassure whoever was crying. He found, unfortunately, that he couldn't sit up; he couldn't move his legs at all and his arms felt like jelly they were so weak.

It didn't take long for the hero of the wizarding world to begin to panic. With the panic attack came the hyperventilating and the sudden intake of breath as the person crying noticed. Hermione's head suddenly swam into his view and a grin spread across her tear-streaked face upon noticing that he was awake. Her cheery smile turned into a worried frown when she noticed his problems breathing.

"Madame Pomphrey!"

"Why are you screaming girl? This is the hospital wing and my patients need silence!" Madame Pomphrey came out of her office in a huff to give Hermione a proper scolding, but any future rebukes died on her lips when she heard Harry's labored breathing. She came running over to his bed casting diagnostic charms along the way. As soon as she reached his bedside she grabbed a potion from the tray next to him and opened his mouth. After a muttered "I hope this time the potion goes down and stays down" she poured it in. When Harry swallowed without hesitation, she looked up at him in surprise.

"Mr. Potter?" He nodded slightly, but she noticed the movement. "Welcome back Mr. Potter. How do you feel?"

"Why." He croaked. "Why…. Leg….. head….." He trailed off in a fit of coughs. After they subsided, Madame Pomphrey sat him up and held a glass of water to his lips. He drank some and then she placed it back on the bedside table.

"Can you try again Mr. Potter? I need to know how you're feeling." Madame Pomphrey was looking worriedly at him. Harry nodded his head and took a deep breath.

"Why can't … move… legs?"

Hermione gasped, "Harry, you can't move your legs?" He shook his head, "Not at all?" Another shake. "What about your arms? Can you move those?"

"Yes… just weak." Harry turned his gaze from Hermione to Madame Pomphrey. He was anything but reassured by the look on her face. "What's wrong with me?" His fear was evident in his voice and it caused her to smile kindly at him.

"I assume that your inability to move your legs is what sparked that panic attack?" He nodded and she smiled broader. "That explains it. I was afraid you were developing new symptoms. I gave you a simple calming draught to relax you. I'm not sure why you can't move your legs, but I'm going to find out. I'll run a test to see what it is that you can feel; you know, sensory identification, but Mr. Potter, I'd like for you to be asleep during this. It will prevent you from feeling any pain that may occur."

"Ok." She handed him another potion with the label 'dreamless sleep.' It took some time for him to get it to his mouth, but a minute after he took it he fell asleep. Only once he was unconscious again did Madame Pomphrey stop smiling and let her worry show.

"Madame Pomphrey? Will you please tell me what's going on with Harry? I may be able to help." Hermione's voice was shaking with the worry she felt for her friend, but she refused to cry; she had to stay strong for him.

"Miss Granger, I cannot discuss another patient with you, it is a matter for him to decide when to share and with whom to share it." She sighed and suddenly the harsh tone disappeared from her voice. "Besides, right now I have nothing to tell, I have no idea what could still be affecting him. I need to run more tests. I'll be back in an hour and then you'll have to leave so you won't disrupt the readings." With that last statement Madame Pomphrey disappeared from Harry's beside and vanished back into her office.

"Just hang in there Harry, you'll be fine. Madame Pomphrey will fix you right up." Hermione hugged one of her two best friends close before settling back into her chair and holding his hand tightly.

* * *

The hushed conversation started again as Madame Pomphrey re-entered her office with a grim look on her face.

"Poppy? Is it Harry? Did something happen to him?" The downcast look in her eyes was all that Remus needed to assume the worst. "No… Please no, not Harry!"

"He's not dead Remus… Actually he woke up, but he had a panic attack causing Miss Granger's screams.

"He woke up? So he's better then. Can I go talk to him?" Hope was prominent in Remus' voice.

"Yes, he woke up, but I gave him a dose of dreamless sleep so no, you can't talk to him… As for better," She sighed and shook her head sadly. "It seems that Mr. Potter was hurt more permanently than we thought. He is currently paralyzed from the waist down, and because I don't know what caused it, I don't know if I can reverse it without more damage."

"Well then, why are you in here chatting with us when you should be out there trying to cure my godson?" Sirius' voice joined in the conversation, full of accusations towards the medi-witch.

"I came in here to research paralysis reversals while he falls into the right stage of sleep so I can start my tests." Taking a deep breath the mediwitch continued. "Minerva, we may need to find a way for him to move about the castle eventually… Just in case we can't fix this with magic."

"I'll see what I can find. Surely at some point in time there was a paraplegic that wished to attend Hogwarts without anyone else knowing." The Headmistress stood and flooed to her office to start working right away.

"Poppy, please, can we see him? I need to make sure he's alright. I don't care if he's asleep, I just need to see my godson… Please?" Sirius looked up at the witch with tears in his eyes and Remus leaned over to squeeze his hand reassuringly.

"You may see him after I complete my tests, and only while he's asleep. I'm afraid the shock of seeing you alive would hurt him more than help right now. After we sort out the paralysis and he heals more I will allow you to talk to him. We want him to heal, not be sent into another panic attack." Sirius looked like he was about to argue so she continued, "It'll just be for another week, if not sooner. He's a fast healer."

"Will you let Remus talk to him before then?" She nodded and he sighed. "Alright then, how can we help? I'd really like to feel like I was doing something beneficial rather than just sitting around, even if only indirectly."

"Give me a moment to contact Severus and tell him the potions I'll be needing since Harry wouldn't take anything when he was unconscious." She walked over to her fireplace and called out 'Severus Snape' and his head appeared in the fire. "Severus, I have a patient I need to tend to and unfortunately I have run out of a majority of the potions necessary for his recovery."

"I just stocked your infirmary at the end of the year."

"He wouldn't take any potions while unconscious. They'd go down and then come right back up and go everywhere… I'm afraid we used up most of the supplies trying to get enough into his bloodstream so he'd survive."

"Poppy, if you would be so kind as to tell me what potions you require from me to treat this mysterious patient instead of prattling on, I can make them that much quicker."

"Blood replenishing, pain reducers, bruise salve to replace what we used on him, dreamless sleep, and something akin to your potion that reverses the effects of the cruciatus but is localized so that it concentrates on healing any nerve problems in his legs."

"You do realize that you are asking me to create a new potion correct?" She nodded. "Very well, but it will take time. I shall have my godson brew the easier potions you need so I can focus my efforts on that."

"That's fine Severus, just make sure you don't raise any suspicions or tell him who they're for."

"How could I tell him, when I don't know myself?" Nevertheless he nodded before pulling his head from the fire. Sirius, Remus, and Madame Pomphrey were left alone in the office, each contemplating different things in their heads, but all thoughts revolved around Harry, the one person they each thought of as a son.

"Well boys, you're free to return to headquarters until I have run my tests. I told Miss Granger that I'd be back in an hour to run them, and I intend to give her that full hour. Poor girl has been making herself sick with worry ever since she heard about his injuries. It'll be good to let her have this time so she can get a decent night's sleep for once.

"I need to research different causes of paralysis in the muggle world; it's such a rare affliction among wizards that healers aren't taught the causes of it." She looked at them as if waiting for them to head through the floo back to headquarters, but upon realizing the stubborn expressions on their faces smiled warmly. "If you want to help, you can work through these," she pointed to a large bookshelf of books full of mediwizardry books, "for any references."

Remus and Sirius exchanged twin looks of horror at the large supply of reading material they had been assigned and resolve at finding something useful, before settling in front of the bookshelf and carefully picking their way through the hundreds of books. Madame Pomphrey grabbed a stack of muggle medical books specifically on paralysis and nerve damage before settling down at her desk to read them.

"Poppy." Sirius said quietly after about half an hour of searching through the numerous books. When she looked at him he continued, "Do we know everything the Dursley's did to him?"

"Yes, and I've healed all I found. I can assure you that diagnostic spells miss nothing, not unless the person is actively trying to hide it and is blocking the castor's magic."

"What did you find in your scans?" His voice was unusually serious, almost dreading what her response could possibly be.

"Broken bones, old scars, malnourishment, excessive blood loss due to repeated beatings, lacerations, contusions, mild concussion… and signs of rape." As she listed each thing found, she became quieter and quieter. By the end, both men in the room had to strain to hear what she had said, but when they did, they exploded.

"They WHAT?! How dare they! He was left in their care for fuck's sake! I'll kill them, I'll—."

"Mr. Black. That is enough! I did not tell you so you could plot revenge and murder. I figured you had a reason for asking so I informed you incase it would help. Don't make me regret it!" The matron glared at Sirius until he had the sense to look down, properly admonished.

"It's the rape… That's what's causing the paralysis. Here." Sirius shoved the book on top of Madame Pomphrey's desk and the book she had previously been reading before pointing out a passage.

"In some instances, a wizard may find himself paralyzed after a particularly painful experience; most commonly found in cases of physical abuse and rape." Madame Pomphrey read aloud for the benefit of Remus. "The paralysis is a part of the natural defense the wizard erects and is classified as accidental magic. The witch or wizard's body in question will react to the pain and in an effort to stop it, will destroy part of the spinal cord, effectively stopping feeling or movement to the body parts receiving the brunt of the beating. Any pain felt after the paralysis has been set in motion is caused by the reaction time; any signals already en route to the brain will make it to their destination, and since pain has a lasting effect on a person, they may not notice until much later that they have paralyzed themselves."

"Does…" Remus swallowed the bile rising in his throat before continuing. "Does it say how to treat it?" The mediwitch scanned down the rest of the page and then until the end of that particular section in the book. She closed the book sadly and set it on the desk.

"Apparently, the quicker the diagnosis and treatment, the better the chances of recovery. Seeing as he was unconscious for at least three days while at the Dursley's before you found him and then for another four days here…" She sighed heavily. "A week doesn't seem to be fast enough. We can only hope that Severus can develop a potion that works, and that now Harry is awake to swallow potions to further heal the rest of him, his body will allow us to restore his movement."

"Are you saying he hasn't had any potions at all?"

"Very few. While unconscious he refused to swallow anything and we tried time and time again to get a full dosage into him. That list of potions I gave Severus are all the potions I managed to run out of trying to get down his throat. As Severus was away on Order business, I couldn't get anymore." She sighed and looked at the door leading to the infirmary. "I need to go run some tests to see how much, if any, response I get from his legs and lower back. It will help us figure out what the chances of a full recovery are. I'll be back as soon as I'm finished." She hurried out of the office leaving Sirius and Remus alone to process all the information presented.

"Remus"

"Yeah?"

"What if—"

"He'll be fine."

"But what about—"

"He's strong Sirius. He'll pull through."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I promise." The two sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

"Hey, Moony?"

"What now?"

"I'm Scared."

"Me too, Sirius. Me too." Remus reached over and pulled his long time friend into a tight hug. For the next hour, while Madame Pomphrey worked they held each other; feeding hope and reassurance to each other.

* * *

As soon as she had left her office, the mediwitch had shooed Hermione out of the hospital wing and began casting spells. The first spell set up a device that was magically 'wired' into Harry's nervous system so she could read his responses. The second spell made sure that whatever she did to his legs would not affected his upper body at all. After checking to make sure the device was working properly, she began the actual scans.

After the first three sensations she exposed his body to—wind, light touches, and tickling—she was beginning to doubt he'd have any feeling whatsoever. In an attempt to disprove her latest theory she continued testing. The was no reaction to slightly harder pressure, that normally associated with a massage, or from a grip so firm it would have left bruises if she had been using actual force instead of magic to stimulate the feelings without any damage to the body.

Sighing in frustration Madame Pomphrey wrote down the results she'd had so far and to which sensations they were before aiming her wand once again at Harry's body. He hadn't felt anything in the light sensation category or in medium and she had to know whether he'd feel anything. There was no reaction to any of the different 'feels' from pain as small as a paper cut all the way up to that of a broken bone. Scalding hot water prompted the first blip of the machine and she quickly marked it down, it didn't matter that the level of response was the lowest it could possible be, he had felt something.

Excited and encouraged by the latest development, Madame Pomphrey continued on. After she had finished recreating any sensations she could think of, the witch looked at the small number that registered to his nervous system; there were only three: scalding water, being stabbed, and the pain of the Cruciatus Curse. These three things had been the only ones to register any reaction with her machine. Even then the Cruciatus, the one that had affected him the most had only gotten two beeps with a long pause in between. The faster the beeps were together, and the more numerous there were, the stronger the reaction. The odds of recovery from this were beginning to look slimmer and slimmer.

Madame Pomphrey returned to her office with a heavy heart, fully prepared to spend a long time recounting the test results for the two worried parental figures waiting for her. All she could think about however, was why everything happened to him when he didn't deserve it.

* * *

Sirius sat by Harry's bedside holding his hand with tears streaming down his face.

"I'm so sorry pup. This is all my fault, I should have gotten you from the station. I shouldn't have let Poppy talk me into staying a few more days until I had recovered fully. I should have been there for you. I'm so sorry." Suddenly the hand he was holding started twitching in his grasp. Sirius abruptly stopped talking and drew in a sharp breath as Harry's eyes started opening. _'No!'_ he thought angrily to himself. _'This isn't fair. I was supposed to have another hour with him at least!'_

"Sirius." Harry turned his head to where his godfather sat in shock, a worried smile on his face. "Am I dead?"

"No, you're not dead and you're not going to die either. I won't let you."

"Good. I don't want to die. Plus, I would have wanted my parents here too…" Harry blinked and a confused look crossed his face. "If I'm not dead… Then how? You fell… I saw you…" Harry burst into tears but still kept trying to talk through the sobs.

"Shh, I'm fine Harry. I found my way out so I could be with you. Just relax. I'm really here and I'm not going anywhere ever again." Sirius soon found himself with an armful of crying Harry, and briefly wondered how he had managed to do that with the paralysis and still mending bones, but shrugged it off as something simply Harry.

"You're really here? You're really back?" Harry asked a few minutes later, after most of the tears had died out. At Sirius's nod he continued, "How? Why'd you wait so long?"

"I'll tell you how another time, but I didn't wait at all. The minute I woke up behind the vail I started searching for a way out, a way back to you. I went the fastest I could. I hadn't even realized it had been a year until I woke up in the hospital wing and Poppy told me. The first thing I did after she let me go was come to get you… I'm sorry I was too late."

"You found me? You're the one that brought me here?" Sirius nodded. "Thank you. Thanks for saving me from them… and for coming for me in the first place."

"SIRIUS BLACK! I TOLD YOU, YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TALK TO HARRY UNTIL HE WAS READY!AND _WHAT_ DID YOU DO?"

"You told him not to talk to me? Why? He's my godfather and I want to talk to him… I haven't been able to for the past year and you wanted him to leave me alone! Why?"

"I was afraid it would cause you unnecessary stress. You've already had one panic attack today, I didn't want you to have another." Madame Pomphrey had stopped screaming at least, and was looking apologetically between the two. "I'm sorry."

"Madame Pomphrey, Uncle Sev sent me up with these vials for you—." The voice stopped talking as it walked through the infirmary doors and saw who was there.

"MALFOY! Malfoy is in the castle? He was trying to kill Dumbledore! I was there, I saw it! What is he doing here!?" Harry was angrier than he'd been in a long time, and Malfoy looked shocked and guilty.

"Mr. Potter, control yourself. Mr. Malfoy, put the vials in my office along with any directions Severus included, then go back down to help him. I will explain things here." When Draco didn't make any signs of moving she lost her patience. "_Now_ Mr. Malfoy." He scurried off to do as she asked, and after he disappeared Madame Pomphrey turned to Harry and Sirius.

"I can't explain this situation to you and hope to tell it right, so I'm going to ask you to trust me when I tell you that Mr. Malfoy is innocent, as is Professor Snape."

"SNAPE! Don't tell me that murderer is here too! I saw him _kill_ Dumbledore!"

"Harry, listen to me. Malfoy is alright, so is Snivellus… I'm sure one of them would be willing to explain it all to you."

"I doubt either one of them would willingly sit down to explain to me how they managed to walk away as free men after killing Dumbledore."

"I'd gladly explain it to you if it meant you'd gain control over your magic and stopped letting it run free." Draco had reappeared from Madame Pomphrey's office and was staring at the unlikely trio around the bed.

"Magic?"

"You know… Magic? The stuff we're learning here…"

"I know what magic is you idiot, but what about it?"

"You've given it free reign of the hospital wing." Harry looked around at the infirmary and fell silent as he witnessed the destruction surrounding them. The place was a mess, as if a tornado had just blown through.

"I did this?"

"Mr. Potter, you have strong accidental magic. When you get too upset it runs ramped and targets whatever you're mad at. Since Mr. Malfoy was in another room, it seems it made do with what was available. Don't worry about it, I'll have it fixed in a jiffy." She waved her wand and everything straightened back to the impeccable clean it had been before his magical outburst.

"Right… so magic."

"Yes Harry, strong magic." Sirius hugged him tightly before laughing at his godson's still dumbfounded expression. "Come on pup, back into bed with you."

"Err, Sirius… how did I get out of bed in the first place?"

"No idea." He deftly scooped Harry off his lap bridal style and placed him back on the bed, tucking the covers in around him. "Now then, Malfoy, I believe you owe Harry an explanation or two." Draco stopped halfway out of the hospital wing's doors and looked guiltily back at the boy on the bed.

"Now?"

"Yes. Now. You weren't trying to escape were you Malfoy?" Harry smirked at his rival who immediately sneered in response.

"No. I merely wanted to inform Severus that his presence was requested in the hospital wing."

"No need for that Draco. Poppy saw fit to inform me of the situation and drag me away from the potions she requested I brew for her. _Experimental_ potions at that." Snape drawled as he entered the wing from Madame Pomphrey's office. "Now why are we here?" He looked around the hospital wing in distaste, quickly hidden shock followed as he saw Harry and Sirius on the bed.

"You're here to explain to me how Dumbledore's murderers are back in Hogwarts and free from the ministry."

"Potter," Snape snapped, only to be growled at by Sirius, "and dog-father." he quickly amended. "How quaint… I assure you that you that you are mistaken. I never killed Dumbledore. Now if that's all?"

"I SAW YOU! I was there, on the Astronomy tower with him. I watched you kill him! I saw it… I know I did." Snape and Draco both turned sickly pale at Harry's words and shot each other a look before turning back to the young man on the bed.

"Poppy. Black. Would you give us a moment alone with Mr. Potter?" Snape's voice was unusually void of any sneering or snarling comments. Sirius looked at him as if he was crazy and he sighed. "I swear by my magic that no harm will befall your godson during this discussion. We just need to talk." Harry, who had been watching Snape's face as he spoke, grabbed Sirius's arm in an effort to both shut him up and get his attention.

"It'll be fine Siri." Harry was staring straight into Snape's eyes.

"But Harry… you can't—"

"I've still got my magic Siri. I can defend myself."

"Yes, because you did such a good job of that at the Dursley's."

"I wasn't allowed to do magic then. Now I'm in school. I'll be fine."

"But what if they attack physically? You won't be able to get away."

"They aren't going to attack."

"How do you know? How can you trust them?"

"I know." Harry stated firmly, still staring straight into his professor's eyes, his own eyes a bit clouded. "I don't know how, I just know. You can go Siri. I'll be fine and you need sleep. I didn't get you back just so you could go and make yourself sick with worry." Harry finally broke eye contact, immediately returning his eyes to normal, to shoot Sirius a small smile and squeeze his hand reassuringly.

"If you're sure…"

"I'm sure. Now go. I'll see you later; after this is done."

"Mr. Potter, after this conversation has finished you i are /i going to rest. You've barely been awake for a day and you're already up to your old tricks. You can see your godfather when you wake up again." She turned her glare to Snape and Malfoy who had moved closer to his bed and were standing nervously. "And you two… don't stress him out. He needs to rest." She took Sirius by the hand and pulled him into her office.

"Potter, what the heck happened to you?" Malfoy asked, looking at the half-faded bruises and other obvious signs of abuse.

"That's not important right now. You promised to explain and now I want an explanation. Why aren't you locked up?"


	3. Chapter 2: Important Conversations

Chapter 2: Important Conversations

"Mr. Potter, that is a long story. Surely we can just assure you that the Ministry itself set us free?"

"What reason would I have to trust the ministry? I want to hear the story for myself. Start from the beginning. I'm not going anywhere."

"Very well then." Snape waved his wand and conjured two chairs for him and Draco to sit on before sitting stiffly on his. "I suppose this whole story starts back when I first turned a spy for Dumbledore. He made me make an Unbreakable Vow to him."

"What's an Unbreakable Vow? Ron tried to explain it to me last year but…"

"Didn't your defense teachers ever teach you anything? I could almost believe that you had just started at Hogwarts last year when I took up the class."

"Professor Lupin did, but all we covered was different… animals and how to protect ourselves from them. You taught as well, at least you knew what you were talking about."

"What are you talking about Potter? The werewolf couldn't have been the only teacher that taught anything. You have attended this school for six years!"

"Yes, six years of my defense teachers trying to kill me." At Draco and Snape's confused looks Harry sighed and closed his eyes, looking almost as if he were praying for strength. He opened them again to stare straight at Snape before continuing. "First year, Voldemort," they both flinched "was growing out of the back of Quirrel's head. Second year, Lockheart, the raving idiot, didn't know the difference between a charm and a curse and got Ron and I down into the Chamber of Secrets before he attacked us with Ron's broken wand. It backfired, but he still tried.

"Third year, Professor Lupin was amazing and we all learned a ton. He didn't try to hurt me until that full moon, and even then it wasn't a conscious decision on his part; he'd simply forgotten his Wolfsbane. Fourth year was Crouch Jr. Need I say more?"

"Professor Moody taught that year. Not some Crouch."

"That's right." Harry looked at Draco oddly before shrugging. "You wouldn't know. Barty Crouch helped his son escape from Azkaban because it was his wife's dying wish, and then kept him under Imperius and the care of a house elf. Jr. escaped his father's hold, overcame Mad-Eye, and came to school under polyjuice potion where he spent the entire year plotting my demise. I'm sure you know how polyjuice works, yes?" He smirked at Draco's guilty look. "Anyway, he put my name in the Goblet, made the portkey, and then tried to kill me when I returned. Do you understand now Malfoy? Moody was a Death Eater that year, it wasn't the real Moody."

"I was turned into a ferret by a Death Eater?!"

"Yes, because the fact that he had the entire school under the Imperius Curse at some point in time throughout the year is no where near as bad as you becoming a ferret for a few moments." Harry shot back, sarcasm dripping from every word.

"Enough bickering. Finish your tirade about your horrible defensive education."

"Are you actually interested?"

"No." Snape answered quickly. "I merely want to know how the idiots Dumbledore chose over me fared."

"Right." Harry responded disbelievingly. "So, fifth year was Umbridge who spent the entire year giving me detentions with a blood quill and attempting to find out information about the Order by using Veritaserum. Sixth year was you. I'm sure you remember that _sir_."

"You seemed to have proven your point about the worthlessness of your Defense teachers of the recent past. An Unbreakable Vow is an agreement between two people that is sealed with magic. If either of the participants goes against what they've said they will die, immediately. Understand?" Harry nodded so Snape continued. "When I turned spy, Dumbledore bound me with one. I cannot do anything concerning the Dark Lord or the war which he has not sanctioned, and any information I find out I'm to report directly to him. I am his loyal servant, something that had I broken would leave me dead right now. In return he protects me from the Ministry and those on the 'Light Side' of this war who don't believe I'm telling the truth."

"Nothing concerning Voldemort" they flinched "that he hadn't sanctioned… but that would mean he told you to kill him. Why? That just gives Voldemort," they flinched again "more power. With Dumbledore gone there's no one left he fears. Why would Dumbledore give him the upper hand? He's the one that knows how to kill the bloody stupid bastard."

"Potter. Shut up… and stop saying the Dark Lord's name." He looked at Harry calculatingly before continuing. "Besides, there remains one that he fears."

"Who?"

"You." Snape took a moment to appreciate the stunned silence. "Before you ask why he fears you remember this: You have confronted him personally five times and walked away relatively unscathed. No one else has ever achieved that. Your parents and the Longbottoms were permanently incapacitated on their fourth confrontation."

"Oh." There was a moment where Harry allowed everything to sink in. Snape smirked when he saw comprehension dawning on the savior as his eyes went wide. "I… but… Not even Dumbledore?"

"No. Unless I am much mistaken, the incident at the Ministry was his third encounter with the Dark Lord since he began his attack on the muggleborns. Both of them prefer directing their underlings to putting themselves in danger by actually going into battle. When they did, it was hardly ever at the same time."

"Oh. So why'd you kill him?"

"Because of me." Malfoy's voice was quiet, and immediately Harry's attention switched to him. "The Dark Lord gave me the task of killing Dumbledore… I had a year. It was my test. He doesn't accept followers while they're still in school, but when my father failed him he wanted to take revenge. Since my father had been his right-hand man, he decided that marking me would be the best way to punish my family. Severus was approached by my mother and aunt to help me complete my given task."

"They too forced me into an Unbreakable Vow." Snape continued, picking up the story from where Draco trailed off. "I was to do everything in my power to help him complete his task, up to completing it for him if he could not. Narcissa didn't want to lose her 'baby boy.'"

"And Aunt Bella didn't believe you were sincere in your abeyance to the Dark Lord. The Unbreakable Vow was a way to assure her of your loyalty to the cause." This comment resulted in Draco receiving one of Snape's glares.

"Bella? As in Bellatrix Lestrange?" Draco nodded and Harry's face twisted as if in pain. "Do you know where I can find her? I owe her something."

"No. Even if I did, I wouldn't tell you. You'd just run off on some stupid, rash, Gryffindor, half-baked scheme and get yourself killed in the process. Then who would save us all?"

"If that's all I'm worth to you, you can go save yourself." Harry slid down on his bed and turned away from the two Slytherins, refusing to say another word. He blocked out all sounds of conversation coming from behind him as well. Unfortunately, he was brought back to reality when someone laid a hand on his shoulder. He flew off the bed before anyone realized what was happening and was found in a corner, huddled into as small of a ball as he possibly could and shaking terribly.

"Shite. Uncle Sev, what the heck?"

"Mr. Potter?" Snape Slowly walked towards the cowering Harry, keeping his hands in view at all times; he almost looked as if he was approaching a particularly skittish cat. "Mr. Potter." Snape's voice got slightly louder and cause Harry to visibly flinch. He sighed before kneeling down to face the young man. "Harry," he began, voice quiet and soothing. "Harry, you're safe here. No one is going to harm you." He continued to speak comforting words until Harry's sobs subsided and he was able to look Snape in the eye.

"I'm sorry professor."

"You have nothing to apologize for Mr. Potter."

"But sir—"

"No Mr. Potter." Harry flinched. "Harry," he quickly amended. "You've just been through a terrible ordeal, if your appearance is to be believed and I should have respected that and restrained Draco before he could touch you."

"It just startled me…"

"Understandably so. Come now, back into the bed before Madame Pomphrey has my hide." Snape stood up and walked back to his chair. He turned around to find that Harry was still sitting limply in the corner, looking defeated. "Mr. Potter?"

"I can't sir."

"Can't? What do you mean you can't? You got over there in the first place."

"I can't, Malfoy. That's what I mean. I was paralyzed from the waist down. I have no control over my legs." The two Slytherins stared at him in shock.

"That's what I'm crating that potion for? To cure your paralysis?"

"Err… I suppose?"

"POPPY!"

"What?" The Matron came huffing into the room glaring at Snape.

"Why didn't you tell me the potion I'm creating is for someone who's been paralyzed? Now I'm going to have to start all over again."

"What does it matter?"

"The anti-cruciatus potion you told me to base it off of works by suppressing nerve endings until they heal and helps to expedite the healing process. Using something like that on Mr. Potter would only serve to make the situation worse because the nerves are already disconnected. This is why you're supposed to tell me about the patient! What if I had used an ingredient that he's allergic to and caused an even worse reaction?"

"I'm sorry, the thought hadn't occurred to me. I am glad that Mr. Potter thought to tell you." She looked at the bed expecting to see him there and stared in shock at the empty sheets before looking back at Snape. "Where is Mr. Potter?"

"Over here." Harry waved meekly from the floor when her attention turned to him. "I'm not sure how I got here, but I can't seem to get back. Some help would be appreciated." Madame Pomphrey smiled sadly at him before waving her wand and levitating him back into bed. His quiet 'thank you' once settled back in made her sigh regrettably.

"I'm allergic to potion ingredients?" His quiet question brought both the matron and Snape out of their thoughts.

"Yes, Ashwinder Eggs and lovage."

"Are they used a lot?"

"No, but they are among the most common allergies in the wizarding world. Any potion I make with them in it, I automatically make with appropriate substitutions so the students receiving them don't have to deal with an allergic reaction on top of their initial problem. When making a specialized potion, however, I never would have thought to include the substitutions." He didn't seem to be offering any more information on the subject and a silence fell over the group.

"Well… if there isn't anything else, we should probably let him rest. You surely must have finished your story if he told you about the paralysis."

"No Poppy. We haven't finished just yet. It shouldn't take much longer and I'll inform you before we leave as I'm sure you'll want someone to sit with him."

"Thank you Severus, and I'm truly sorry about the potion…" He waved her off and she went back to her office. She turned around in the doorway to address the group once more. "Severus, if you stop by later this week, I'll let you see Harry's file so you know exactly what you're dealing with." He nodded at her and she turned and shut the door behind her. Only then did Snape turn his attention back to Harry.

"Mr. Potter, I am sorry we frightened you. I merely wished to gain your attention and you weren't responding. Draco did not mean what he said and wished to apologize."

"Yea right." He snorted. "Malfoy, apologizing to me? That'll never happen. It doesn't matter anyway, I can't just stop being the bloody savior because of one stupid prat." Something sounding suspiciously like 'stupid prophesy' was mumbled under his breath but Snape wasn't sure.

"Well, since we're all back in the appropriate frame of mind, we should finish telling Potter the story." Draco said after a few moments of silence. "I don't want her coming after me." He said with a pointed look towards Poppy's office.

"You're sure I can't kill your aunt now?" Both Snape and Malfoy shook their heads and Harry sighed. "If figured as much, especially now that I can't even walk on my own." A pregnant silence fell over the group. "So… what happened after the Unbreakable Vow this time?"

"I told Dumbledore."

"He KNEW?! The whole year I kept telling him Malfoy was up to something and he _knew_ that his murder was being plotted? And he just let it happen?! Is that why he told me about the stupid hor—."

"Mr. Potter!" Snape snapped loudly, cutting off Harry before he could finish his sentence. "We shall discuss _that _at a later date. In short, yes, he knew but that was not his only motivator." He gave Harry a piercing stare while Malfoy watched the interaction curiously. After a moment Snape nodded slightly, confusing both Harry and Draco. "I told Dumbledore and we worked out a plan or sorts. I was to strongly encourage Draco to ask me for help, but he never came to me and every time I offered, he rejected it. It was when you cursed him in the bathroom that plans changed.

"Dumbledore was dying from the wound to his arm and only my potions were keeping him alive by slowing the poison down. He wouldn't have made it to the end of the year anyway, despite my best efforts, and he knew this. He also knew that the Dark Lord had begun suspecting me of spying for Dumbledore instead of on him. He crafted his entire murder so that everyone would win. The Dark Lord would be happy over his demise, Draco and his mother would be safe and under Order protection, and I would be the one to kill him, securing my place as a spy. Due to the two Unbreakable Vows I had been bound by, I had to kill him or kill myself."

"But I heard him begging…"

"Begging to be killed. Begging for me to kill him in order to protect you and Draco. He knew I didn't want to kill him and so he had to remind me of our deal. There was a quick conversation between us using legilimency before I cast the curse."

"Wait… You were really there?" Draco sounded shocked.

"Yeah. I was frozen and under my invisibility cloak… All I could do was watch."

"Why were you there at all?" Snape sounded mildly curious. "I know you caught up to us rather quickly and seemed to know what had happened, but why?"

"We'll talk about _that _later as well. I'm really tired." He yawned widely to make his point, but kept direct eye contact with Snape the entire time. He received the smallest nod of recognition in response.

"Very well. I will see you when I bring up some more potions tomorrow. Just don't go wasting any more good potions and I shall attempt to find a solution to your problem quickly." He glared sharply at Draco who said a few rushed goodbyes before the two of them left the hospital wing. As Harry saw the door close and began settling down to sleep, he noticed the whisper of a patronus disappear into Madame Pomphrey's office. He felt her presence next to his bed as he drifted off to sleep amused with the thought that Snape does keep his promises.

Harry woke up slowly the next morning, feeling refreshed and perfectly fine. Only when he tried to sit up did he remember the events of the day before. He lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling for the longest time just thinking about what this meant for him. '_I'm really paralyzed then.'_

"Yes Mr. Potter, you are." Snape's unmistakable drawl came from the door to the infirmary, jarring Harry out of his thoughts. Harry hadn't sat up quickly in a long time, but sit there he did, gaping as Snape approached his bedside. "Do shut your mouth Potter, I highly doubt you were aiming to catch flies."

"Why are you here?"

"To talk to you of course. Our conversation yesterday was a bit… restricted and I need to know what it is you know."

"Has the Headmaster's portrait woken up yet? I just need to verify that I'm allowed to discuss this with you." Harry looked at his hands. "I was told not to tell anyone anything, except Ron and Hermione."

"Mr. Potter, I assure you—."

"I don't care. This I need to hear from him."

"Fine. Yes, he has a portrait, as to whether or not he's awakened yet I haven't a clue, but it is in his office and since you cannot walk…"

"Then get me a wheelchair, or carry me… or even cast a stupid levitation charm, just get me up there to see him." Snape still looked skeptical and Harry sighed. "Madame Pomphrey?" The matron came bustling out of her office and immediately started casting diagnosis spells on him. "Madame Pomphrey, I'm fine." Both Snape and Pomphrey snorted their disbelief at his statement. "Really. I just wanted to know if it was okay for Snape to take me up to see Dumbledore for a bit."

"I doubt you're ready Mr. Potter and you most definitely aren't fine. Surely you can wait a bit before going to see the headmaster?"

"No. I can't. I need to speak to him now. It's important."

"Very well, but Severus, if you bring him back in any worse condition…"

"I assure you, I have no intentions of harming him Poppy." She gave him a piercing look but sighed in resignation. She carefully moved him from the bed to one of the chairs next to hit and then turned her attentions once more to Snape.

"Levitate him up and have him back by noon, it's ten now. I _will _be checking." Snape nodded his head once and followed Harry out of the Infirmary. The trip up to the headmaster's office was made in silence. When they entered, Professor McGonagall looked up at them in barely concealed shock and Harry was forcibly reminded that this was no longer Dumbledore's office.

"I want to speak with the headmaster, professor."

"Mr. Potter, he hasn't awoken yet."

"Please Professor, I'd like to try."

Certainly Mr. Potter. We'll leave you two alone." She shot Snape a look before exiting the room.

"Mr. Potter, you have an hour and a half before we need to head back so Poppy doesn't kill you, or me." He followed McGonagall out the door and shut it with a click.

"Professor, its Harry." He looked up at the slumbering portrait of Dumbledore and sighed. "I really need to talk to you sir, it's about the task you gave me last year." There was still no response. "Professor, I know you're not sleeping, but if you don't want to talk to me I guess I'll just go."

"Harry, wait." Dumbledore's quiet voice called out from his portrait. He was looking at Harry sadly. "Harry, my boy, I'm so sorry. I had no idea—."

"Its alright professor… You didn't know they'd do this to me and I never told you anything about what happened there. There's nothing you can do about it now sir."

"Be that as it may, I still should have known and done something to keep you safe in that house. You never hid how you felt about returning there every year." There was no twinkle in his eye.

"How long have you been awake sir?"

"Since you appeared in the castle, injured and in a life threatening situation. It appears the wards are still tied to me despite my death. I believe that will wear off soon however."

"So why pretend you were still asleep?"

"Guilt Harry. I felt guilty over sending you back there year after year and being the reason that you are in this state." He looked at Harry sadly. "What can I do for you, my boy?"

"Is what Snape told me true? Did you really tell him to kill you?"

"Yes Harry, it was all true. Including the part where I was already dying. I told you when we went to fetch the locket that Tom wouldn't have wanted to kill the person who found his Horcruxes immediately. You see, when I went after the Gaunt ring, I was too hasty and grabbed it without checking for curses and slipped it on my finger before coming back here to destroy it. The ring was cursed Harry, much like all of his Horcruxes will undoubtedly be. I was unable to remove the ring from my finger, and a poison was slowly released into my bloodstream. The poison began to eat away at my body; the reason for my blackened hand. Severus was able to slow the spread down with a potion he made for me daily; he was however, unable to reverse the process or stop it entirely.

"The night we went to the cave, I had already resigned myself to the fact that it was in all probability one of my last. I was infinitely glad that the Death Eaters attacked that night. As it stands, I was killed by the Killing Curse, not the curse on the ring or the liquid guarding the locket, and therefore Tom has no idea we're working towards destroying them. Everything worked out for the best that night, for everyone involved; except perhaps you. I am sorry you had to witness that Harry, but I could not let you defend me. I had to die."

"Why? Why didn't you tell me? Why did you have to keep it all a secret? I thought we agreed, no more secrets. You told me about the Horcruxes, but you didn't tell me that you were dying or that you expected someone else to kill you. WHY?!" Tears streamed down Harry's face and a few items in the headmaster's office shattered to pieces.

"Because I didn't have the time. When I saw you, I had to impart all my knowledge about the Horcruxes and Tom to you, I couldn't take the time to tell you that I was dying, I was too worried with living and making sure you lived." He waited in silence while Harry cried, looking miserably at him.

"So can I trust Snape?" Harry asked once he reigned in his emotions. "Can I discuss the Horcruxes and everything I know about them with him? He seemed to know what they were but I wasn't sure how much he knew and if I was allowed to tell him what I knew…" Harry trailed off and smiled sheepishly up at the headmaster who's eyes had begun twinkling once again.

"You may discuss with _Professor _Snape anything dealing with the Horcruxes. He already knows much about them, although he doesn't know about the locket or the other shapes we suspect they will take, only general information. I do trust him Harry; I hope you will too."

"Professor… the locket. It was a fake. Someone had gotten there before us and switched them out. He left a note for Voldemort; he was one of the Death Eaters but realized it was wrong. His initials were RAB… I think it may have been Regulus Black, sir, but I don't know his middle name so I'm not certain."

"Well if it was indeed Regulus who took it, which seems very likely," Dumbledore laughed at the incredulous look Harry gave him. "You are far smarter than you give yourself credit for Harry. His full name was Regulus Atlas Black and we know that he turned away from Tom and was murdered for it. Anyway, if he had taken it, chances are that it is hiding at Grimmauld place." Harry groaned and hit his head against his palm.

"And here was me thinking I'd never have to go back there again. The locket's definitely there though. I remember cleaning and we came across a big, silver locket that none of us could open. Now all we have to do is find it again."

"That can wait for another day Harry, I believe Severus gave us an hour and a half and we have already exceeded that limit. You need to go back to bed and work on getting better, and that includes your paralysis. There's nothing that Severus and Poppy can't achieve when they work together, or even separately. They are two powerful wizards. Did you know that Severus invented Wolfsbane?" Dumbledore just laughed again and motioned towards the door. Harry looked behind him to see an open doorway, a confused Professor McGonagall, and a clearly bored and scowling Professor Snape. With a wave of his wand, he and Harry were on their way back to the hospital wing with only a muttered 'he _would_ wake up to talk to you' from Professor McGonagall. Harry barely had enough time to say goodbye to the headmaster before he disappeared down the spiral staircase.

The return trip was just as quiet as the trip to Dumbledore's office had been. As they approached the hospital wing they saw Madame Pomphrey exiting the infirmary and received a glare from her for being a few moments late. They approached Harry's bed and allowed Madame Pomphrey to bustle around him, checking everything she possible could before he pushed her away with an 'I'm fine' which once again earned him two snorts of disbelief.

"Was your meeting productive?" Snape began after Madame Pomphrey had gone and he erected a silencing charm around them.

"Yes sir."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Our conversation from yesterday. Why were you on the Astronomy Tower the night Dumbledore died?"

"You know what Horcruxes are right?" At Snape's nod he continued. "All year, the headmaster and I met to discuss what they were and what they may look like while he looked for places they could be in his spare time. That night, he called me to his office because he had a lead on where one of them was and had promised that I could go with him. We left together and he apparated us to the cave so we could retrieve it. In order to get to the actual horcrux, someone was going to have to drink a potion. He made me force him to continue drinking the potion until it was gone… then there were inferi that appeared because I had to get him water from the lake.

"He managed to get them to disappear and grabbed the locket while I got him out of the cave; he had been weakened and was unable to walk. Once we got back to shore and past the anti-apparation wards, I apparated us back to Hogsmeade. That's when he noticed the Dark Mark and we borrowed brooms from Madame Rosmerta and flew back to school. We landed on the tower and he hid me. You should know the rest."

"The locket?"

"A Horcrux… well the real one was anyway. We found a fake. The real one is somewhere in Grimmauld Place, hopefully."

"Hmm…" Snape appeared to think over the explanation once more and Harry noticed that after a moment he seemed surprised. "You apparated yourself and Dumbledore from an unknown location to Hogsmeade?"

"Err… yes, sir."

"Do you know how difficult side-along apparition is, even for a fully trained wizard? Normal people wait until they've had their license for years before they even attempted it and yet you…"

"Well, since when have I ever been normal? I'm the bloody Boy-Who-Lived, destined to defeat Voldemort. I will never have a normal life, no matter how hard I try."

"A normal life? You thrive in the attention your fame brings."

"No I don't! I'm not my father and I'd rather not be famous for that bastard killing my parents. All I've ever wanted was to be normal…"

Snape looked at him oddly for a moment before responding. "You will never be normal, but that does not have to be a bad thing."

"You call nearly getting beaten to death by my uncle a good thing?"

"Your relatives did this to you?"

"It wasn't Death Eaters and I never left Privet Drive." '_Dangit!' _Harry thought to himself. '_I didn't want anyone to know that they did this to me… and now Snape of all people knows. Me and my big mouth.' _Snape just stared at him and took in the remains of his injuries once more. He cleared his throat and moved to say something but Harry cut him off. "Trust me, you don't want to know and I'm not going to tell you anyway. All you need to know is that so far in my life, being a freak has never been good for me. I'm not arrogant or spoiled, that honor falls to Malfoy. I'm Harry. Just Harry."

"Of course." Snape cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"Professor… I need to go to Grimmauld Place… or someone else needs to go or something."

"What for?"

"The locket."

"Why not use that wretched house-elf?"

"I'd rather use someone I trust or do it on my own. I wouldn't trust Kreacher with my laundry, let alone with a piece of Voldemort's soul."

"How many are there?" was asked after a moment's silence.

"Seven. The diary and the ring have been destroyed. We know where the locket is and that he's using Hufflepuff's cup. Dumbledore suspects Nagini as another, but we have no idea about the last one, just that it's something of Gryffindor or Ravenclaw's if his past choices are anything to go by. The only problem is that no known artifacts of either exist other than Godric's sword and the Sorting Hat."

"That's only six. You said there were seven."

"He split his soul into seven pieces; six went into the Horcruxes and the other is the one he's using to stay alive… exist… well you know…" Harry floundered over a word to describe what Voldemort was.

"Yes, I assume I do."

"Professor?" Harry ventured quietly during a lull in the conversation. "You never answered my main question yesterday. Why aren't you in Ministry custody?"

"The headmaster left behind pensieve evidence of everything Draco and I told you yesterday. It was sent to the Ministry under lock and key. Anyone who viewed it can not share the information with anyone else until the war is over and the Dark Lord gone for good. Having us exonerated based off evidence that we are traitors to 'the cause' would serve as a quick way to get us killed. The Ministry just released an article that said based off evidence and a private trial, we were found innocent." His explanation finished just as Harry yawned widely. "Well then, why don't I leave you alone to rest before Madame Pomphrey kills me for causing you 'undue stress?'"

"Professor?" Snape stopped by the door to look back at Harry, acknowledging the quiet question. "Could you send for Sirius or Remus… or Hermione… and stay until they arrive? I don't want to be alone…" Snape's only response was to send off a patronus and return to Harry's bedside. He sat down in one of the chairs and waited. The moment Sirius and Remus came running into the hospital wing, Snape left, but before he was fully gone Harry saw him nod in his direction.

"Harry, what's wrong?"

"Why was Snivellus here?"

"He was explaining things to me… Poppy kicked him out before we could finish last night." He looked at them for a moment before focusing on Sirius. "Why do you still call him Snivellus?"

"…"

"That's what I thought. Knock it off Siri, please? It's been twenty years and he's on our side. Stop provoking him and he'll stop retaliating."

"I've been trying that line for years Harry. It hasn't worked yet. Siri is too pig-headed."

"I resent that Moony. Anyway, I'll think about it pup. Now tell me why Sniv… Snape summoned us."

"I didn't want to be alone… and I wanted to see my godfathers. Siri, when can we go home?"

"Godfathers?" Remus asked quietly.

"Yes, godfathers. I've adopted you. Is that a problem?"

"No. I'm honored."

"Good. Now… Home?"

"I'll talk to the dragon lady. We'll get you out of here as soon as we can, I know ho much you hate this place."

"Thanks."

"No problem pup, now get some rest. We'll stay with you." Harry smiled and gave his godfathers a hug each before snuggling under the blankets and falling asleep. It didn't seem to matter that he'd only been awake for four hours; he'd had an emotional encounter with Dumbledore's portrait and then an exhausting conversation with Snape where he had to remember that awful night.

Remus and Sirius watched over him as he slept, talking quietly about how to help him get better; physically and emotionally.

* * *

_AN: Alright, here's Chapter 2, and yes, it is a bit long, but hey, I prefer long chapters to shorter ones so you'll just have to live with it. Let me know what you think. I have the 3rd chapter written out already, but I'm going to wait a bit to put it up because I still have all of chapter 4 to write. Please review and thanks to all those who have reviewed so far!_


	4. Chapter 3: Some Things Never Change

Chapter 3: Some Things Never Change

Harry woke up the next morning, once again wondering if the past two days had really happened or not. He felt a presence next to his bed, and without even turning to look said "Hi Hermione."

"Hey Harry… How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Mate, even I know you're not fine. Its no use lying to us. We're your best friends, we know you better than anyone else." Ron said as he approached Harry's bed as well.

"No, really. I'm fine." Hermione opened her mouth to say something but was stopped by the timely entrance of Madame Pomphrey.

"Ah, Harry, glad to see you're awake." She placed a tray covered in potions on the nightstand and pulled him into a seated position. "Severus and Draco have finished all the potions that you depleted and now we'll be able to get you right as rain again." She handed him the tray of potions and he blanched. "Drink up dear."

"Do I need _all _of these?"

"Yes, you do. You lost a lot of blood and have had very little time to recover it, not to mention all the other things currently ailing you. There's a blood restorative draught, one to prevent infections and reverse any that have already taken hold, one to heal your wounds, an energy potion to help rebuild your magical reserves, a pain potion, and a nutrient potion. You haven't eaten food in days so you won't be able to stomach much; I have to make sure you get all the nutrients necessary or you won't get better. It will also help to stabilize the broken bones that I healed while you were in your mini-coma."

"Right… Did Snape make them all taste horrible?"

"I believe that if you were to take the nutrient potion last you'd be left with the best of the flavors. Potions naturally taste bad because of all the plants and animal parts used to make them. Professor Snape doesn't go out of his way to make them worse." Hermione added helpfully when Madame Pomphrey just gave him a exasperated stare.

"Well… bottoms up." Harry dutifully swallowed each of the potions on the tray, grimacing between each of them. "Someone needs to learn how to make these taste better. That stuff is awful." He made a gagging sound and was immediately passed a glass of water.

Madame Pomphrey watched him drink the water and for a few moment afterwards. When he made no further motions towards throwing up the potions she left the three friends alone.

"Harry, how on Earth can you say you're fine? Did you hear that list of potions she rattled off? Not to mention you look a right mess."

"I do? Why? I thought it was only my legs that were beaten…"

"Harry, you've got a black eye," Harry opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off and continued "trust me, its there. Just because the swelling's gone down and you're so doped up on pain potions you can't feel it doesn't mean its not there. You've got the black eye, a bruise in the shape of a hand going across your face, and a few bruises going around your neck and wrists."

"What Hermione is trying to say is that you look like a mess."

"But it was just my legs… I only remember one punch to my face… maybe the rope burns around my wrists… but my neck?" He stared at the rings around his wrists, where his uncle had tied him up, as if just noticing them for the first time. "I don't remember…"

"Oh Harry. Why does everything happen to you?"

"I've asked myself that a hundred times already. I still don't have an answer."

"Mr. Potter, I almost forgot. You need to rub this into any bruises and cuts you have. We've been applying it while you've been unconscious and the bruising is almost gone, but you still need a few more doses." Madame Pomphrey approached his bed holding a jar full of a blue, goopy substance. "Get help for those places you can't reach." She left once again, disappearing back into the office with one last shout of: "And don't move your legs if you can help it!"

"What does she think; that I'm going to start running around the wing? I can't bloody move my legs to begin with!"

"Harry, I think she meant physically moving them… you know, like pulling them up to your chest or all over the bed in order to cover the bruises with this paste…"

"Oh. Right… of course." Harry looked at the jar in his hands and sighed. "Hermione, could you rub this stuff in for me? I can only see my chest, legs, and arms. I need your help with the stuff you said was on my face and neck and everything on my back… and I'm not putting this on my legs until you two are gone."

"Why wait Harry?" Hermione asked quietly while taking the balm from him and carefully unscrewing the cap. "You should really spread it everywhere while you remember."

"Because I know my legs are going to be a mess, more so than the rest of me and I don't want you seeing that. I haven't even—."

"Nonsense Harry, we're your friends. We're here for you and nothing is going to make us leave you now." Hermione stated while setting down the jar, just before ripping back the sheets to expose his legs from where the hospital gown didn't cover. The right leg was one giant bruise from him to toe and the left didn't look much better. There were scratches running up and down it from something his uncle had used and a large gash where the bone had broken through the skin by his shin. Both legs were still swollen and the right looked as if the bones were still working on knitting themselves back together.

"What… What happened to you?" Hermione had tears in her eyes while Ron stared at his legs, dumbstruck.

"Nothing. I said I was fine."

"Harry stop lying. You can tell us anything."

"No I can't. Not this." Harry stared resolutely at the ceiling while Ron and Hermione rubbed the cream into his legs, neck, face, and wrists. When Hermione quietly whispered 'we need to get your back and chest Harry' he emotionlessly pulled the hospital gown off his shoulders so it pooled around his waist and upper thighs before leaning forward to expose his back to them. A startled gasp at seeing the mangled mess was their only response before they dutifully continued to rub in the balm. After he sat back up, put the gown back on, and Hermione replaced the sheets, he finally turned his attention from the 11,440 ceiling tiles and twenty other hospital beds to his friends.

"So what are you two doing here?"

"Harry…" Ron laid a hand on Hermione's shoulder and she trailed off.

"McGonagall told us you were hurt after Sirius brought you in… Hermione got here before me since she can apparate so she was here when you woke up two days ago… I showed up this morning when mum finally got a chance to side-along with me here. She refused to let me floo to Hogsmeade and walk up alone so she dropped me at the front gates. We've been here whenever we've been allowed since."

"Why'd McGonagall tell you guys?"

"Honestly? I think it was an accident. She knew we were getting together this summer to go… well you know and thought that maybe we had been hurt too. She came running into The Burrow yelling for mum and asking if we were okay because you had been hurt and were in the hospital wing. Naturally we heard, asked questions, and Hermione popped right over."

"Naturally? No extendable ears were involved at all?" Harry asked, a hint of a smile on his face.

"Err… well maybe one… or five."

"Five?!"

"Well there was me and 'Mione and Ginny… then Fred and George popped in towards the beginning to talk to mum and saw us and wanted to know what was so interesting."

"Didn't your mum find out?"

"No! Well… maybe because we're here and all, but honestly they were loud. Hardly needed the ears at all!" Harry laughed at that, he knew how loud Mrs. Weasley could be.

"So, what are they planning now?"

"What makes you think they're planning anything?"

"They're the twins, they're always planning something. Plus, they just learned that I was hurt enough that I'm here a week after school let out, they'd think that deserves something special."

"They aren't planning any…" Ron trailed off as a barn owl flew in with a toilet seat in it's claws.

"You were saying?"

"Our dear brother doubted our gift giving skills."

"That's not very nice brother dear. You should know we always deliver."

"And even though we only had a day to prepare,"

"We would never slight our darling, dearest, littlest brother!"

"We present to you"

"A one of a kind"

"Original"

"Hogwarts Toilet Seat!" They finished together.

"Fred, George, seriously… A toilet seat?"

"But of course!"

"We tried your first year and got caught."

"Things are so much easier to snitch in the summer when no one's around." They deftly untied the toilet seat from the owl and knelt before Harry, the toilet seat help above their heads with each holding one side.

"We present o you this symbol of our undying love"

"We are mere peons to your greatness"

"And despite the fact that we had to use an owl to get this past Madame Pomphrey, resident dragon lady and dictator of the hospital wing,"

"Honestly you two. A toilet seat! Don't you know how unhygienic those things are?"

"Aww, is Hermione afraid of the evil nasty toilet seat?"

"No. I just don't think you should be giving a germ infested, bacteria ridden, toilet seat to someone who is already in the hospital!"

"Relax Hermione, it's just a joke. I doubt it's an actual Hogwarts seat." Ron commented, looking over the seat in detail.

"Its genuine, we swear."

"Nicked it from Myrtle's bathroom."

"Figured no one ever goes in there anyway."

"Plus, she was only too excited to give her close friend Harry Potter something to remember her by." Harry groaned and hid his head in his hands.

"How long have you been two-timing our little sister with a ghost Harry?"

"Never would have thought you'd go for the dead kind of girl"

"But hey, who are we to judge you?"

"Ginny and I broke up and I'm not seeing Myrtle. I never have and I never will be. She's had a crush on me since second year and was devastated when I didn't die in the Chamber. She said I could share her toilet seat… this isn't… is it?"

"Isn't what?" Ron asked dumbly.

"Myrtle's toilet seat?"

"Course it is."

"We wouldn't have brought any other."

"Not like she would have let us take any other either."

"Gross! She died on this seat you idiots!"

"Really? I wonder if there are any blood stains left."

"She was petrified. There was no blood." Harry sighed in exasperation.

"None?"

"Not one drop?"

"How depressing."

"Yes, depressing, but not because of the lack of blood but because SHE DIED!" Hermione interjected sternly, glaring at the twins. They looked properly chastised, but the second she turned away, they winked at Harry.

"So, all jokes and morbidity aside, what are you two doing here?"

"Visiting."

"Just thought you might need a little cheering up."

"But you looked cheery enough without us." They gave Harry a look that he interpreted to mean they weren't going to say anything else in present company, but needed to talk to him first chance they got. How he understood that, he didn't have a clue, but he did.

"You missed the part where we sat in silent for half an hour because Harry refused to tell us anything… and the shouting before that… you walked in during the recount of how we overheard mum and McGonagall."

"Ah, I can see how that'd be humorous." Fred looked down at the "gift" in his hands and seemed to get lost in his thoughts. No one other than Harry noticed.

"Hey Fred?" Harry looked at the twin who had just spoken and was immediately under scrutiny by the three other people in the room. Fred just kept staring at the toilet seat. "Fred?" Still no response.

"Ron, Hermione, could you please go down to the kitchens and fetch some chocolate?"

"What for? He's just plotting or something."

"Honestly Ronald. Maybe Harry wants the chocolate for himself; we should be encouraging him to eat, not questioning him."

"Well then, why didn't he ask them?" Ron pointed to his brothers, clearly upset at being asked to run all the way down to the kitchens.

"Because Fred and George go everywhere together and I can't currently get Fred's attention?"

"Right…" Ron stood up awkwardly and walked out of the hospital wing. Harry turned to George the minute they were out of hearing range.

"Where's he hiding it?"

"Hiding what?"

"The thing causing the catatonia. I'm assuming this is the latest of your tricks to get out of classes?"

"Oi! Fred. Drop the rubber ball!"

There was a series of thumps as a small, red, rubber ball bounced around the floor after dropping out of Fred's hand where it had been concealed under the toilet seat. A few minutes later, he blinked a few times and looked at his twin.

"It worked?"

"Yes, but Harry here figured it out. That and it took a direct order from me to get you to drop the ball and five minutes from the time you stopped touching it to the time you fully came out of it."

"Perhaps we need a time limit on it?"

"Or you could leave them as is and use them on Death Eaters." Both Fred and George looked at Harry so quickly you could hear their necks crack. "Fred, you were completely dead to the world. If you could spell them to stick to the Death Eaters, they wouldn't be able to fight and would be easily restrained. Then you get rid of it once they've been dosed with Veritaserum to be question, whether by the Order or Wizengamot."

"Aww look, ickle Harry's all grown up"

"He's making big plans for the war."

"Just the same, I don't think we'll be marketing these."

"They are now officially for Order use only."

"But they do need some more fiddling…"

"I guess immediately waking up would be better than the delay."

"Discuss that later." Harry said quickly, stopping them before they went off on another tangent. "What did you two actually want to talk to me about?"

"Oh, of course."

"It's about your partnership in WWW. We know you wanted to be a silent partner and we totally respect your wishes, but when we set up the Gringotts account for you they wanted to know your name."

"It went into all kinds of official documents that you were a silent partner in the business and are to receive a cut of the profits, and it all went on record with the goblins; they keep everyitng safe—no one knows of your involvement."

"It was a perfect plan… only now we need your signature on anything big we want to do with the store."

"Or towards expanding the business elsewhere."

"At least if you want to stay a parner"

"Which we won't let you out of."

"Why didn't you need my signature the first time around?"

"You were underage."

"But I'm still—."

"Doesn't matter. You turn 17 in three weeks and will become an adult wizard."

"Since what we want to do will take longer than that to finish"

"And possibly more of your original money"

"You'll be in your majority and therefore your stamp of approval is required."

"We honestly didn't realize this would happen." They finished together, looking truly apologetic.

"It's no problem, really. Just as long as no one but the goblins know about my involvement. Just owl me whatever you need signed and the date you need it by. Use privacy charms so only I can read it though."

"Thanks mate."

"Means a lot to us."

"It really shouldn't be too much"

"Or too often."

"Really, it's fine. I don't care, in fact—." They never found out what he was going to say because at that moment Ron and Hermione's voices could be heard down the hall, bickering loudly.

"Ron, Harry asked us to bring him some chocolate, _not_ a feast."

"But they were offering that food to us, wanted us to take it and everything."

"But it would have gone to waste. Harry hasn't eaten in days and can't handle more than a little bit here or there and even then it'd have to be light food like soup. You heard Madame Pomphrey earlier!"

"I would have eaten it!"

"You had breakfast an hour ago Ronald. You don't need to eat anything else until lunch. Why you insist on acting like a human garbage disposal I'll never understand."

"Yeah Ron! You keep eating like that and you'll get fat!" Fred shouted towards the doors. A moment later a blushing Ron entered, followed by Hermione.

"Have you two finally started dating then?"

"Only, she sounds like mum when she's nagging dad."

"And ickle Ronnekins has been in love with her for years"

"How many has it been now?"

"Since fourth year at least." Harry jumped into the fray, shocked everyone in the room. "Well at least that's how long they've both been in love with each other. I don't know when they individually fell in love. I can only bear witness to the unresolved sexual tension that manifested during the tournament."

"Harry,"

"When did you get so smart?"

"You'd have to be blind not to notice those two. I think they're the only ones who didn't know."

"Can we change the subject yet?"

"Nope. Not until you answer our question Ron!" The twins exclaimed as one.

"No… we're not dating.. but… well…" Ron was bright red by this point and staring avidly at his feet.

"Honestly Ronald." Hermione grabbed his head, pulling him forward to meet her and kissed him quickly before pulling back to glare at the twins. "There, now we're dating. Happy?" I was waiting for him to ask me and you two ruined it."

"You… what?" Ron looked completely gobsmacked.

"I was waiting for you to ask but these two nitwits changed things."

"He never would have gotten there."

"You should thank us… really."

"I mean—."

"FRED!"

"Yes Harry?" The twins answered in unison.

"Fine, Fred and George then, stop the double talk, it's giving me a headache and I can tell the two of you apart."

"You sure about that?"

"Not even mum can do that consistently."

"How about if we give you a test."

"If you answer right ten times"

"In a row" Fred added.

"Yes, ten times in a row, we'll talk normally."

"You promise?"

"We solemnly swear." They said in unison before winking at Harry.

"Use the screen, come out one at a time. I'll tell you who walked out, after ten tries you tell me how many I got right. Sound fair?"

"Sounds good."

"We agree."

"Be right back." They disappeared behind the nearest hospital screen. A moment later, one emerged.

"Fred." The twin disappeared and a moment later another emerged. "George." "George." "Fred." "George." "Fred." "Fred." "Fred." "George." "George." Fred emerged from behind the screen to stand next to his brother.

"So?"

"How can you tell us apart? We're absolutely identical, we've actually checked. No one can do what you just did, and I mean no one. Not even people who have known us for years like Lee." Fred stated in awe.

"I'm not as unobservant as everyone seems to think. I never would have survived all these years if I was."

"But… how?" Ron asked, finally having found his voice after gaping at his best friend. "I've been trying that for years."

"I'm not telling. I don't see how you can't tell; it's obvious to me." He shrugged. "So no more double talk today. My head can't take anymore."

"Sure thing, Harry. We promise to attempt to stop that for you. It's a bit hard though, we've been doing it for so long it just comes naturally."

"Okay. So now that they're going to stop finishing each other's sentences, what were we all talking about?" Blank stares were all turned towards Hermione and she sighed. "Fine then Harry, what did you do yesterday when I wasn't allowed in? Madame Pomphrey just kept telling me you were busy."

"I talked to Dumbledore… and Malfoy and Snape. Did you know they were declared innocent?"

"Yes, it was all over the paper, but why were you talking to them?"

"Because I didn't know they were innocent Hermione. No one told me that before I was faced with them… I may have flipped out a bit… or a lot… maybe…"

"By flipped out you mean…?"

"Um… Threw a tantrum? There was quite a bit of screaming at both of them for a few minutes… and I maybe lost control of my magic a few times…."

"Harry! You have such a temper." The rolled their eyes at her, but she took no notice of it. "You can't just keep blowing rooms up when you get mad."

"It seemed to work fairly well…"

"Harry!"

"What? I cleaned up too."

"Harry." She practically growled at him.

"I'm working on it Hermione. It's called _accidental_ magic for a reason, I didn't choose to let a tornado loose in the hospital wing."

"Hmm… tornados. Why didn't we ever think of that? Keep it in a bottle and carry it around with you."

"It'll read your emotions"

"And when you get mad"

"The bottle will break"

"And make a huge"

"Satisfying"

"Mess!" They finished together.

"FORGE! Headache!"

"Sorry," they apologized meekly.

"Its fine, just try to remember… please."

"Will do Harry. We just got a bit excited and it just comes naturally."

"Do you know how much mess tornados make?" Hermione began to lecture as the twins and Harry finished their conversation.

"That's the point!"

"But what happens if it gets released on Diagon Alley? That would cause chaos and could put people out of business. That's not very funny."

"It is if after the tornado stops everything looks exactly as it did before. No harm done and people will think they're going crazy." Harry added helpfully, earning himself a glare from Hermione.

"See Miss Priss, no harm done." Fred stuck his tongue out at Hermione mockingly.

"Now we really must be off. We suddenly have a load of inventing and tinkering to do."

"We'll be in touch!" That last line, while directed at everyone, was specifically aimed at Harry. They waved merrily and skipped out of the hospital wing.

"I swear, they get odder every day." Harry only snorted in agreement and Ron just shrugged at Hermione. They exchanged worried glances; Harry normally would have responded verbally to Ron's assessment of his brothers.

"Harry… are you sure you don't want to talk?"

"Did you bring the chocolate?" Harry asked Ron, pointedly ignoring Hermione and her nagging.

"Yeah mate, here." Ron handed over a bar on Honeyduke's chocolate. "Hermione wouldn't let me bring any more than this."

"So I heard." Harry smirked slightly, his amusement at Ron's sudden embarrassment shining in his eyes. A comfortable silence fell over the group as Harry ate a few pieces of the chocolate. The silence was shattered as a large black dog came barreling into the room, barking wildly. Harry burst into laughter as "Snuffles" jumped onto his bed and started licking his face.

"Paddy! Down boy!" Remus yelled out from the infirmary's doors, slightly out of breath from trying to keep up with the dog. Snuffles just barked once and went back to bathing Harry.

"Alright, alright, Siri. That's enough." The dog gave him one last lick before transforming back into a human and jumping off the bed.

"Sorry about that Harry. We were outside taking a walk because someone want to, and the the twins walked past. They said something that made Paddy here conclude that you were awake and well…" Remus gestured towards Sirius as if that explained everything. Sirius however, thought it meant he should pick up the tale.

"And I decided I just had to see you. So I took of for here and Moony chased me… He wanted to stop me or something…" He grinned widely at his best friend; said best friend only rolled his eyes at the explanation.

"Yes, well, now we're here and I doubt he'll let us leave any time soon. Did you know he stayed with you all night? I dragged him out of here for breakfast and to stretch his legs just a few hours ago."

"Shut it Moony, you're spoiling my image." Sirius pouted.

"No Sirius, I'm pretty sure you do that on your own." He stared pointedly at the pout and Sirius scowled at him.

"Oh alright. Fine. The great Sirius Black, last heir to the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black, purveyor of mischief, Marauder—."

"and dog" Remus added helpfully.

"Ugh. Fine. Marauder and dog, has a heart. Oh woe is me!"

"Nope Siri, wrong again. The woe is all mine." Sirius looked hurt and Harry laughed. "I'm the one you keep using your heart for. It's a very scary position to be in. I'm the godson to Sirius Black… et al."

"That hurts pup." Everyone burst into laughter at Sirius's serious delivery. He managed to keep a straight face for a few seconds longer before he too burst into laughter. As Harry stopped laughing he surveyed his friends and family and smiled. They were the same as they'd always been.

"Oi, Harry! Why the serious face? You know that's not allowed. You wear that expression for too long and you might start losing your sense of humor. And we can't have that!" Sirius jumped onto the bed and immediately began tickling Harry. Laughter ensued for the next few minutes as Remus turned on Sirius when he asked for help and Harry began whacking everyone within reach over the head with pillows.

'_Some things never change,'_ Harry thought to himself as he reached over and landed a hit on Ron, who thinking it had been Hermione, retaliated by tickling her. '_And I wouldn't have it any other way._'

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A/N: Please Review! I want your imput on the story, and while this chappie is all fun and games for the most part, it is still necessary for the plot and I want to know what you think :)

Oh, and I'm still looking for a beta if anyone is interested.


	5. Chapter 4: Learning to Trust

A/N: Hey guys, I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. I've had it written for months, but it was in a notebook and the notebook got buried when I cleaned out my locker on the last day of High School last year and just just lost after that. I finally found it when I was getting ready to move into college 3 weeks ago, but I've been busy ever since so this is the first chance I got to get it up here, typed up, and hopefully fixed any grammar mistakes I may have made the first time around. As usual, I can't claim the characters, only their actions in this story and the big thing about DE meetings. I'm really rather upset by the fact that I couldn't get this chapter up before Deathly Hallows came out, seeing as it was finished back in June, but I'm really not trying to steal the fabulous plot of JK's final book here, this all came out of my own mind and I plan to continue in that direction.

As usual, please tell me what you think: good, bad, indifferent. I welcome any and all criticism on both the plot and my writing style so please, review and let me know!

Now on with the story!!

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Chapter 4: Learning to Trust 

"Mr. Potter," Snape began, entering the hospital wing and finding a pile of bodies on the floor. "Would you care to explain the reasoning behind this unhygienic pile of useless flesh?"

"Well… Ron and Hermione came to visit, and then Siri and Remus came in. Then there was a giant pillow fight which turned into a wrestling match that Hermione got dragged into even though she tried to stay out of it…. I think she's on the bottom there… anyway, they all just collapsed and haven't moved since."

"They're under a sleeping spell Potter." Harry flinched and Snape pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm not going to hurt you Po—Harry. Do you know how that happened?" He motioned towards the sleeping bodies.

"Umm…. No?"

"Alright then, I will simply ask them when they wake up. Until then, I will take advantage of this moment of blessed silence. I need to speak with you, which is the reason I come up to this love fest in the first place. You must tell me what happened to you at your relative's house in order for me to properly formulate a potion to reverse any lasting damages that have been done. "

"And if I don't tell you?"

"You may never walk again. It's that simple." Snape's voice was carefully devoid of any emotion.

"Is there no other way? Can't you just go off my injuries?"

"No, the reason behind the paralysis is magical in nature and therefore a magical solution must be found. That means I must know what happened… in as much detail as possible."

"I'll make a deal with you."

"Mr. Potter…"

"If you don't agree to the deal, I won't tell you. You'll just have to spend your summer guessing and making potions that won't work."

"And how do you know I'll still try to find a solution if you refuse to cooperate?"

"Pride for one. Loyalty to Dumbledore for another… and a ministry that is looking for any signs of you acting against the Order, if you need any more convincing."

"And why do you need explanations from me first?" Snape said resignedly.

"I don't trust you." Snape opened his mouth to speak, but Harry cut him off before he could utter a single word. "I trust you with the war, with the information on the Horcruxes, maybe even healing my injuries, but I don't trust you with my personal life. You've yet to prove you deserve that trust and until you do, you won't be getting it. So either you spend your summer creating worthless potions or you answer a few questions. What'll it be?"

"And how do I know you won't use my personal life against me?"

"You don't. It's a game of trust for you as well. Do you trust 'The Chosen One' with your deep dark secrets? Or do you only remember the embarrassment dealt to you by his father. It's your decision but I promise I won't hold your past against you or share it with anyone else. I can keep a secret you know."

"That much is obvious Mr. Potter. I would feel better discussing this where we cannot possibly be overheard by your… friends waking up without our knowledge and listening in. Do you think it possible for you to wake them up?" Harry shrugged and waved his hand carelessly at his friends as if to say 'I don't know how, you go right ahead.'

To both his and Snape's surprise, everyone in the pileup began to move. They rolled off one another until they were all lying on the floor, blinking owlishly up at the ceiling.

"What are we doing on the floor?" The voice was unmistakably Ron's, and when no one answered him he sat up and looked around the room, his eyes focusing on a sneering Snape and a bemused Harry. "Harry, when did Snape show up?"

"During your impromptu nap, Mr. Weasley. Now, if the four of you would be so kind as to clear out of the hospital wing so I may talk to my patient in peace I would much appreciate it."\

"Huh?"

"Come on Ron, it's almost lunchtime. I'm sure the kitchens have plenty of food ready for you."

"Food? Let's go, I'm starving." Ron started pulling Hermione towards the door, but then turned back to look at Sirius and Remus. "Are you two coming? If you're not there on time all the good food gets eaten." He turned back to the door and headed out into the corridor, only stopping to grab Hermione's hand and continue to drag her down the hall with him. Sirius and Remus stared at his retreating back in wonder.

"Ron will forget anything if you mention food. He's constantly hungry… Go on, catch up to him, I'm sure if you asked nicely the elves will serve some chocolate cake for desert."

"Did you hear that Moony? Chocolate! Do you know how long it's been since I had chocolate?"

"A few hours?"

"Exactly! It's such a travesty! Come on!" With that Sirius transformed into Padfoot and took off running towards the kitchen, leaving Remus to amble along behind him. Snape turned to Harry and raised an eyebrow in question.

"I didn't do it." Snape shot him a look which said he begged to differ, but stayed silent other than that. The two of them stared at each other until an annoyed Snape broke the silence.

"What questions did you want the answers to boy?" Snape ground his answer out, causing Harry to flinch and cower at the head of his bed, his entire body trembling in fear as his eyes scanned back and forth rapidly. Snape sighed heavily before closing his eyes and clearing any irritation from his face and voice.

"Harry…. Harry it's ok. You can relax here, you're safe. No one is going to hurt you here, you're at Hogwarts. You remember Hogwarts?"

"Hogwarts?" The tremors wracking Harry's body began to subside and his eyes stopped searching the room and were able to focus on Snape.

"That's right Harry, you're perfectly safe and at Hogwarts." Just then, Hedwig flew in the open window and hooted right next to Harry's head. His eyes immediately snapped to her and he smiled, relaxing completely within her presence.

"Hi girl, I'm glad to see you made it alright. I was worried when I didn't see you the other day when I woke up."

"Hagrid has been taking care of her for you, she wouldn't leave you alone until she saw you were ok, and even then it was only when Hagrid came to remove her from the hospital wing so I could work uninterrupted. It was her frantic arrival six days ago that made Mr. Black sneak out of the hospital wing before he was fully healed to check up on you." Madame Pomphrey's voice came from where she stood in the doorway to her office.

"He left before he was healed to come see if I was alright?"

"Yes, and for once I will admit that his sneaking out was a good thing, despite the fact that he set his own healing back a day in the process."

"Poppy, is there a reason behind your visit to the main wing?" Severus asked with only a bit of his usual venom.

"So nice to see you too Severus. Harry, you have to take your potions again." She levitated a tray of potions in front of him before turning back to her office and shutting the door.

"Well Potter, you heard her, start drinking." Harry did so reluctantly, only to make a gagging sound as soon as he'd swallowed the last one, desperately trying to keep them in his stomach.

"Why can't you make them taste better?"

"Changing the flavor to something more appealing than the herb's natural mix often causes the potion to lose its potency. Many potions masters have tried to keep the effectiveness while fixing the flavor and have failed. It is rumoured that Salazar Slytherin himself was able to do it, but no one has ever found his notes or proper historical documentation, so we all test ourselves by trying to figure out he manipulated his recipes. No one has matched his alleged talent."

"He probably left the recipes in the Chamber."

"That has been surmised. No one has been able to check that fact, however, and so the potion's community continues to theorize about Salazar's prowess."

"I can get into the Chamber… sir." Snape looked sharply at Harry, a sudden light of realization in his eyes.

"And what would it take to get you to open them for me?"

"A cure. I want to walk again."

"And if I can't find one?"

"You won't be able to get down there. I have to open a few doors along the passageway to the main room; all the passwords are in parseltongue. I can't get down there if I can't walk so…"

"That's some inspiration you've got there. If I can cure you, I can access Slytherin's potions journals."

"If they're down there."

"Of course." Snape's face closed off once again and Harry saw him gathering his professional mask around himself. "If I am to cure you and we are to find out whether there is anything of value within his Chambers, I need information you won't give me until I answer your questions. Ask away."

"Why did you join the Death Eaters, why did you turn spy for Dumbledore and when did you turn, how did he learn he could trust you with his life, and why did you hate me?"

"You had to choose the most invasive questions didn't you?" Well, I suppose I'll start with the easiest question to answer. I joined the Death Eaters and followed the Dark Lord because of my involvement with Lucius Malfoy. I had just gotten my Potion's Mastery and was looking for a job when Lucius contacted me. We had known each other fairly well when we were in school and were as close to friends as either of us got. He heard I was looking for a job and he knew of someone looking for a potions master. For a while, I lived at Malfoy Manner, making the potions requested of me. All the while he would ask me questions about my views on the war around us and which side I was on.

"The war had been going on for a long time by that point, but I was rather uninformed because at first I was too young to understand and then I was at Hogwarts. I believed everything Lucius told me… one thing led to another and then I was meeting the Dark Lord and being branded with this disgusting mark.

"It had only been a month since I finished my schooling and became the youngest potions master, getting the title just six months out of Hogwarts, and the rest of my life had been decided for me. I was to follow a megalomaniac and kill my classmates. I regretted my decision after the first general meeting I attended."

"General Meeting?"

"There are a few different types of gatherings the Dark Lord holds. The first are private meetings: a one on one meeting with Him to discuss whatever He pleases. They are normally only between Himself and an inner circle member. Most of the time, the Death Eater who has the _privilege_ to be chosen for a private meeting walks away unharmed because the meeting is more a conversation between friends than Master and servant.

"Then there are semi-private meetings. These are usually between several members of the inner circle and the Dark Lord and are used to discuss the details of the next raid with the people he has chosen to lead it, or what went wrong with the last one. This is more restricted than the private meetings and has less of a "friendly" atmosphere, but again, curses are rarely cast.

"The Inner Circle meetings include all the Inner Circle members… they're very similar to what you experienced in the graveyard after the 3rd task. The only difference is a bit more groveling and cursing. He calls those meeting right before raids as a warning not to fail him, and after the raids as punishment for… anything.

"Inner Circle meeting either turn into general meetings or they start as general meetings. Before a raid, the inner circle meeting takes place and then he calls the rest of his army, sends out a few curses, separates the men under his commanders and sends them off. Upon return from a raid, he takes note of deaths, injuries, and captures from what's reported to the leaders, punishes the masses for displeasing him, and then dismisses them to yell at the commanders in private. General meetings are also called for initiations and when he has captives to torture."

"If he calls general meetings for the initiation, then why was your first one after you'd already been marked?"

"I was initiated right into the inner circle. He was in desperate need of a potions master and knew he'd have to converse privately with the master he found. It would be unbecoming for him to speak so confidently to a lesser Death Eater so I started out high. I also had a different initiation than the masses… and a much more private one at that. Only myself, Lucius Malfoy, and the Dark Lord were in attendance. Do you understand all the meetings and why my initiation was special now?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now then, my first general meeting shattered any illusions I had of the group I had just joined. They weren't fighting for any grand cause, they were fighting to kill, fighting to torture and main… they were fighting just to fight and I couldn't condone that. Much to my dismay I was stuck; no one on the 'light side' would protect me, to them I was a Death Eater, and there's no way to remove the mark and run. Regulus had tried running and died half a year or so after I joined, right around the time you were born. I chose to stay in the shadows, as far away from the action as possible. I didn't want to be involved in the kills or the torture. All I wanted was to invent new potions and be able to freely practice the "Dark Arts."

"As a potions master I was expected to have a respectable, public job, especially as I was the youngest ever to be given the title. He sent me looking for a 'day job,' something to disguise my work for Him, and 'requested' that the job get me close to Dumbledore. He even handed me the blasted Daily Profit article that announced Slughorn's retirement and open professor position. I was to be his spy on all of Dumbledore's activities, even the Order if at all possible.

"I applied for the position, not the I had much choice in the matter, and was granted an interview at Hogwarts the following month. During the month while I waited for the interview, the Dark Lord had me brewing a rare potion called "Blind Man's Bluff." I won't go into detail about what it does, just accept that it was rather nasty. One of the ingredients necessary was the shell of an unhatched, but still alive, Chinese Fireball. The only supplier told me to meet him at the Hogs Head one night…

"While I was waiting for him, Dumbledore showed up and headed immediately up the stairs towards the rooms for rent… I followed him on the Dark Lord's orders; he had previously told me to find out whatever I could if given the opportunity."

"That was the night you heard the prophecy… or at least the first part of it." Snape gave Harry a sharp look.

"You know about that? You know I was the one who told him and yet you're still here, trying to see if you can trust me?" Snape looked incredulous. "How long have you known?"

"I knew last year… I learned it on the way to one of my lessons with the Headmaster. Professor Trelawney told me during one of her drunken moments. Professor Dumbledore just explained it further after that. I'm willing to trust you because I know that Dumbledore trusted you… and I trust him."

"You trust him enough to trust me just based off his word?"

"Obviously not, otherwise I wouldn't be asking for all this information, but I trust it enough to give you the chance to prove yourself, something you've never granted to me."

"I apologize for that. I truly thought it was for the best at the time… You had every reason to hate me for my actions and the role I played in your parent's death so I fostered that hatred."

"It's alright, I understand. Please, finish the story."

"You shouldn't be understanding though Potter… you should hate me. I overheard the prophecy and took it straight to the Dark Lord, he took it to mean he should kill you and your parents. You know how the story goes I'm sure." Harry nodded at him sadly and he continued. "Surprisingly enough, the prophecy is what led me to turn spy for Albus, and why he trusts me so much." Snape took a deep breath as if to compose his thoughts before he turned his beady black gaze on Harry. "Your mother was one of my closest friends. She was always there for me, no matter what your father or his friends attempted to prank me with.

" She knew I had joined the Death Eaters, but she also knew that I didn't want to be a part of that group anymore than she did. She also knew that no matter what, there was no way for me to escape the Dark Lord's wrath if I were to run, and more than anything else, she didn't want anyone she cared for to die. Your mum was a very gifted woman, she had very powerful intuition that sometimes was so powerful as to be considered very low-grade visions. Not visions like you have of His meetings, but little things, like where someone was going to be at any given time. She would use those feelings and by concentrating on me, would know when I was alone and able to be interrupted without fear of discovery.

"She would always make sure to bring me something to remind me that I was still her friend and nothing I had to do to stay alive would put her off me, believe me, I tried repeatedly to scare her away. She was a very persistent witch and could not be dissuaded. When she would meet with me, I'd tell her what I could of the Dark Lord's plans, and she could pass them off as feelings of where'd the Death Eaters would be on a given day… if she was lucky. One day when I met her, the day after the incident at Hog's Head, I begged her to take me to Dumbledore, I had to tell him what had happened so he could help save her. In my mind there was no option… she had to be saved.

"That same day, she took me to Hogwarts, snuck me in under the cover of your father's invisibility cloak and a potion that masked my magical signature so no one would sense me in Hogwarts when I shouldn't have been there. You see, she had just found out she was pregnant and was very excited to tell her best, and oldest friend, but had been very frightened by the fact that I wouldn't tell her anything about my latest meeting with the Dark Lord other than the fact that I needed to speak with Albus.

"That night I told him everything I knew, from the planned attack on the Potters, to the fact that one of their close friends was a spy. Unfortunately I didn't know who it was at the time, but I did know that they had told Him that Lily was pregnant. I poured out my heart and soul to Dumbledore that night, begging for him to do everything in his power to save my friend and her future son. He never asked for any vows of allegiance that night, nor for me to spy on the Dark Lord. He was just as surprised as I was when, come my interview, I gave him another update on His doings. It was when he accepted me as his potions professor, and I promised to spy for him completely and report on everything that He did, that Albus had me take the Unbreakable Vow.

"I never once regretted it."

"That's why he trusted you so much? Because you were willing to spy for him before you had the protection he offered you in a job and in the vow? He gave you his complete trust because you were willing to give up your life to protect someone you loved… even if you won't acknowledge it?" Harry looked down at his hands for a moment as if counting something out on his hand, and then looked back up to meet Snape's gaze. "You've saved my life more times than I can remember, you started even before I was born. Why didn't you ever tell me this before? There's no way I could do anything but trust you after all you put into my safety."

"I didn't tell you because I wanted you to hate me. I put up a front whenever I was with you, hoping to encourage your hatred of me. I felt you had every reason to dislike me as a person, especially since I was responsible for your parent's deaths. I didn't think I could stand knowing that you liked me as a person when I had let you down so badly… Lily was my best friend. It was easier to have you hate me, than to remember how I had failed her every time I saw you. So while I cultivated your hatred for me, I encouraged my own hatred of your father to overshadow your mother's presence in you so I could live without the overriding guilt of failure."

"You know Snape, I'm betting since she never gave up on you, even when she knew the awful things that you were doing, she would have wanted you to remember the good things about her, rather than your perceived failures. Pushing me away has probably just upset her more than you getting to know me would have. I'm almost positive she didn't see you as a failure, but more as a savior seeing as your information saved me from death."

"Potter, you have no idea what you're talking about."

"I'm talking about forgiveness. I'm talking about moving on and celebrating a person's life and their accomplishments instead of mourning their death and your perceived hand in it. I'm talking about the fact that she loved you for you, and would not have wanted you to punish yourself, no matter what. She would have wanted you to move on with your life and not stay stuck in the past." Snape looked into the green eyes and noticed the slightly cloudy quality to them and cursed.

That curse seemed to snap Harry out of his thoughts and he looked at Snape oddly. Snape merely collected himself with a shrug, pulled out a quill and some paper, and then looked pointedly at Harry. His quill was poised over the page, ready to write down everything he expected to be told concerning Harry's treatment at the Dursley's hands and was simply reminding the boy of that fact. With a heavy sigh, Harry began to tell his now trusted professor the general idea of what had happened to him that fateful day, and his overall neglect at the Dursley's hands. After all, a promise is a promise.

* * *

BTW, I'm sorry if this chapter seems shorter than the rest, it's really quite close in reguards to amount of words (over 4000 by Word's caluclations) but it's a lot of information and I didn't feel like adding anything else to it and possibly overloading you all. Sorry if you think it's too short but I promise the next one will be longer and up in a much shorter time frame (It's already half done as well)

* * *


	6. Chapter 5: Healing Harry, part 1

Chapter 5: Healing Harry, part 1

A week later, Harry was still stuck in the hospital wing. The only physical sign that he'd ever been hurt that remained was the paralysis, Snape's balms had done wonders for getting rid of his bruises, cuts, scrapes, and welts. The bones in his legs had even finished healing. The emotional signs were harder to cure however. When he was startled, he'd still find himself cowering in some corner, but no one could ever figure out how he'd gotten there. It didn't' matter how careful everyone was around him, he'd still panic at least once a day. No one knew how to help him get over the trauma as no one knew all the details, even Snape had only gotten a glossed over recounting of the events leading to his hospitalization. On the morning of his 10th day awake, Harry lay staring at the ceiling, wondering when he'd have something other than white walls to look at.

"Mr. Potter!" Harry jumped and looked over towards the ever present chair to see Snape standing over him angrily. "Thank you for finally gracing me with your attention." He snarled in Harry's direction. "We need to discuss your condition so I can figure out why the potion I made didn't work."

"Yes, sir."

"Do you feel any changes?"

"No sir."

"Are you sure? No sensations whatsoever?"

"No sir, none. Madame Pomphrey tested me again today. There's been no change since you gave me the potion on Wednesday and that was two days ago now."

"I don't understand. I've tested and retested all the ingredients in the potion and it should work. I even tested it on Draco after casting a reversible paralyzing spell on him, the counter charm wasn't even necessary to restore his legs to their fullest capabilities. The only way I can see it not working is if you'd suffered from nerve damage previously that you haven't had any magical healing from, but that's impossible. It'd take multiple exposures to the Cruciatus to create that sort of response."

"Then there's your answer."

"What?" Snape looked at Harry sharply.

"The Cruciatus. I've been under it before and when Voldemort tortures his Death Eaters with it, I get tortured as well."

"You've been under Cruciatus how many times?"

"Too many to count, but only a few times in person… not that it hurts any less in the visions."

"Did you ever tell anyone you were suffering from Voldemort's curses?"

"It wasn't important…"

"Did. You. Ever. Tell. Anyone?" Snape ground out.

"Err… not as such. No."

"Why didn't you ever tell anyone? And don't you dare say it wasn't important. You can sustain permanent damage from frequent exposure."

"I know."

"Do you, because I'm quite—."

"The Longbottoms. I've met them."

"If you know what happens as a result, why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Because the visions are more important than a little pain."

"A little pain? That little pain may be the reason you won't ever walk again. Not only did you have previously existing nerve damage, but you snapped your spine magically and I have to fix it."

"I snapped my own spine?" Harry 's voice sounded meek and shaky.

"You didn't know?" He shook his head and Snape looked at him in shock. "No one told you?"

"No." Harry tugged his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them protectively, imitating the fetal position as much as possible in his condition. "I… I guess I thought my uncle broke my back when… there was other stuff I don't remember… I didn't realize I'd done it myself… How can I undo it?"

"I can't believe no one explained this to you. You've seen your godmutt and Poppy every day, not to mention all the times I've caught Miss Granger after hours in the library…" Snape shifter in his chair and looked at the shaking boy nervously. "I didn't know they were leaving explanations to me. I promise, I would have told you before now."

"How'd you learn about it?" Harry's voice was almost impossible to hear, but Snape wasn't a spy for nothing.

"After I yelled at Poppy that first day you were here, she brought your medical file down to me and explained all your injuries properly the next day while you slept with _them_ watching over you. Then you explained to me how each of those injuries were sustained, albeit generally, but still in enough detail to help me create a potion a week ago. It helped me put together the whole picture of what had happened to you, even though Poppy knew the cause of the paralysis from the first day she discovered its existence."

"Explain it to me?"

"When your uncle was beating you, your magic was working to protect you. Unfortunately, it couldn't stop anything because you were caught off-guard while it was already working towards healing your ankle. By the time it was working to help you get away from the beating, you were already weakened… When your uncle raped you," Harry let out a loud sob, "your magic took one last step in an effort to stop the pain. Realizing that your lower body took the brunt of the beating even after your uncle knocked you unconscious, it snapped your spine magically and threw you into a coma to heal until you felt safe." Snape glanced at the shaking figure of Harry on the bed and the tears steadily flowing silently down his face. He took a deep breath and decided he would be yelling at all of Harry's family and friends the next time he saw them for leaving him to deal with this.

"From what Poppy could determine, you were unconscious for three days before Black found you and brought you in. Then you spent an additional four being healed and recovering here before waking up. You had to regrow the bones in your legs that had been shattered by him and she healed the other broken bones and your open wounds… She didn't know about the paralysis until you woke up and she couldn't do anything about it by then. Very few wizards have ever faced such desperate times that they have had to physically incapacitate themselves to end the pain."

"I won't ever walk? My fault… all my fault… just a freak…"

"Potter!" Harry jumped and looked at Snape. His eyes were unfocused and he started shaking even harder. "You are NOT a freak."

"Just a freak… Sorry Uncle Vernon… I'll be a good boy." Snape slowly reached out to shake Harry from his funk, but the second he touched his shoulder, Snape was thrown across the room as Harry's magic lashed out. He looked up from where he landed to see Harry, who was looking around in absolute terror, encased in a blue protective bubble. He was mumbling under his breath, the only words the potions master could make out were ' please… don't hurt me…. I'm sorry,' and it sounded like they were repeated over and over again.

"Shit!" Snape picked himself up off the floor and quickly sent off several patroni, informing the others in the castle as to what was going on. "Harry!" he shouted into the swirling magic. "Harry, you have to calm down!" When he realized he could hardly hear himself over the rising din, he shot off a few containment spells, only have them bounce back at him.

"What happened?" Sirius shouted into Snape's ear as he and Remus entered the hospital wing.

"Later! We have to calm him down before he destroys the castle!" They nodded their understanding and raised their wands in unison. "Strongest containment spell you know on three!" The three of them stood side by side and fought against the whirlwind of magic as they aimed at the bubble surrounding Harry.

"ONE!" Snape cried out.

"TWO!"

"THREE!" All three shouted at once before sending out the strongest containment spell they knew. The beams of light coming from their wands connected to the blue glow surrounding Harry and slowly started pushing it back towards his body. The glow was slowly absorbed into his body, and once the last bit of blue disappeared back into him, all three adults sighed in relief. Snape approached the trembling boy slowly.

"Harry." He waited a moment for a response while creeping closer to the figure on the bed. When he felt Remus and Sirius's presences behind him, he turned to face them. "No, stay back until he's calmed down."

"Let us help." Remus pleaded. "We know what to do."

"You've done this before?" He eyed the two wearily.

"I have." Sirius stepped forward, and nodded once at Snape before shifting into Padfoot and jumping on Harry's bed. He nuzzled Harry's hands and his head, whimpering softly to get his attention. When Harry focused on the dog in front of him, he slowly stopped trembling and pet the dog cautiously. As he slowly pet Padfoot, the tension in him unwound and he relaxed back against the headboard. Padfoot moved up to lay next to Harry on the bed and allowed himself to be pet until Harry looked up and noticed the others in the room.

"Siri?" The dog wagged its tail before jumping off the bed and turning back into his godfather. "What happened"

"I'd like to know that as well. You were really far gone there pup." The two men looked between Harry and Snape, questions in their eyes.

"I explained to Mr. Potter what caused his paralysis. It should not have been left this long, and definitely should not have fallen to me to tell him. Nevertheless, I informed him of the reasoning behind his current condition, and he seemed to think himself a freak which then sparked a flashback…"

"A flashback? Sni… Snape he was terrified!"

"He got absorbed in the memory and associated what was happening to him in the past to what was happening to him in the present. When I tried to snap it out of him as I've done in the past, he threw up the shield and his magic went crazy. This is the first time I've seen it this bad since I started working with him to create a potion."

"I've witnessed it that bad without the shield before. That's how I knew to use Padfoot… Harry, you never answered that question when I asked last time. Why does my animagus form work where humans don't?"

"Humans hurt…. Animals can't cause that much pain. They're the only thing that can get through when I get that bad… unless you feel like waiting a few hours for me to come back to myself." Harry's voice was quiet, almost non-existent.

"You seem to know more about your flashbacks than we do, and either me or your godfather are normally here with you. Care to explain?"

"Not particularly…?"

"Harry." Remus's patient voice caught Harry's attention and he looked towards him expectantly. "We've let you go without pushing for any details while you've been recovering, but with that power display, I'd say you're physically fine apart from the paralysis which Severus is working on. Let us help you recover mentally and emotionally."

"You want me to see a shrink?"

"No, we want you to talk to us, tell us how you're feeling, what happened. It's obvious that you were shaken up by the experience and have some underlying issues that need to be resolved as a result."

"No"

"Why not?"

"I can't tell you… any of you."

"Why?"

"Because I'm the bloody Boy-Who-Lived, the one that's supposed to defeat Voldemort and make the wizarding world safe. How can I do that if I can't even stand up to my muggle uncle. You'll all think I'm a freak."

"Look at me Harry." Snape's voice was commanding and yet compassionate at the same time and Harry immediately looked at him. "Am I a freak?"

"No, sir."

"Well, how about when I tell you that as I grew up my father abused my mother am I? Am I a freak now?" The other two men in the infirmary stared at him in shock.

"No sir."

"They why would you think you're one?" Harry opened and closed his mouth a few times before sighing. "I never told anyone about my past, instead I attempted to work out my issues with my father on my own… it eventually drove me to Lucius Malfoy and then to the Dark Lord. You need to talk through your problems with someone."

"I… I can't."

"Harry, we're patient people, well, excluding your godmutt, but he loves you enough to try being patient." At Sirius's shocked expression he smirked. "I'm a spy, it's my job to notice things and not be noticed in return. I'm surprised there's anyone in the castle who doesn't know."

"You've been telling people about me Siri?"

"More like ranting about wanting to help you and being unable to because you refuse to open up. I'll make sure to put silencing charms around us next time he starts within hearing distance." Remus said with a chuckle at the guilty expression on Sirius's face.

"We've lost the point of this conversation. We are patient people and will wait for you to tell us of your past and wait for you to open up, but you need to start talking about how you feel now. We need to know how you're dealing with this."

"And how is talking going to help me?"

"Getting things off your chest by telling someone else about them often helps you feel better. It takes away the stress of dealing with all those issues on your own…" Remus's voice was quiet and introspective as he trailed off.

"Remi…"

"What Siri? Oh, sorry." He mumbled, realizing he had gotten lost in the past. "I was just thinking about when you guys finally confronted me about Moony. I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders, I no longer had to hide from my friends and I finally felt free. I just want you to feel the same and know you don't have to hide from us."

"No… too many… just a freak." Harry started shaking lightly again and not a moment later, Snuffles was snuggling up with the boy. Harry instantly relaxed, but Sirius stayed in his dog form to prevent, hopefully, any future problems. He pet Sirius for a few moments before looking back up at Snape and Remus.

"With complete and logical sentences this time, why don't you want to discuss your problems with us?" Snape's voice demanded an answer in a sharp, biting tone, but Harry surprisingly didn't flinch.

"I don't want anyone to know what happened to me, especially no you two." He stated looking between Remus and Sirius. "The more people who know how much of a freak I am, the greater the chance that everyone will find out."

"Why not me and Siri?"

"You're family to him. The closer you are to him, the less he'll want you to know about what happened to him for fear that you'll treat him differently. It's an almost subconscious defense mechanism and is found in most cases of abuse."

"How do you know all this?"

"I went through it… and any Head of Slytherin has to have a degree in mediwizardry with a focus of study on psychology. Many Slytherins come from abusive households because their parents want them to be the best at everything and punish them when they don't meet the standards set out. I have to be able to help them; they live normal lives at Hogwarts, within the safety of the common room."

"Harry…"

"I'll talk to Professor Snape, Remus. But not you or Siri, you can't ask me to." Sirius jumped off the bed and transformed back before hugging Harry tightly, despite the flinch at the initial contact.

"We won't ask, you'll talk to us when you're ready, but we could never think anything less of you." Sirius released him only to look him directly in the eye. "Nothing could stop me from loving you." Harry watched, bewildered, as tears started falling down Sirius's face until he was pulled back into a tight hug.

"I do believe he needs to breathe Black." Severus's voice cut through the sobs wracking Sirius's body and caused him to release his godson from his death grip once again. "Harry, you need to relax." Everyone looked at him sharply and he rolled his eyes at them all. "Look around the room. Nothing's moving about like it was, but all it would take is the smallest thing to set it off again. He's tense, so his magic is tense and ready to protect him at a moment's notice. Can't you feel the magic in the air?"

"Professor, the magic's been like that in Hogwarts ever since I can remember. I just thought it was the castle's wards."

"No. the castle's wards are only felt outside. Inside the castle, any magic felt is the castle's ambient magic or the magic of the students and staff. Most of the students, however, do not have enough of a magical presence that they need to worry. You do. You emit magic wherever you go because you simply have so much of it that cannot remain in your body without your help. Many of the teachers here have the same problem and attempt to find students who should be learning control."

"Why am I just hearing about this now then?"

"Because most of the students this applies to are in Slytherin and as such already know how to control their excess magic. It is a part of the training their parents send them to Hogwarts with. Many teachers have stopped looking elsewhere for magically gifted children. Minerva and I never stopped however, and neither of us ever noticed yours, even when I spent all that time alone with you during Occlumency lessons."

"How did I hide it then?"

"Either you unconsciously hide your magic from others, or you drain yourself frequently enough that it doesn't overflow."

"I've always felt the magic's presence though."

"Then I suspect you've been hiding it."

"Then why can you tell it's here now?"

"Because your magic is attempting to… frighten us into not hurting you. Once you begin to feel safe with yourself again, it will most likely be under your power again and hidden from others once more."

"Can you release yours?

"I could… but first you need to relax the hold your magic has over the room and absorb as much as you can into your body. If I let my hold go now, the room would likely explode. It's near enough now with just your magic, and I personally don't want to tempt fate."

"Could you show me outside? I don't know how to draw my magic in… I've never done it before… didn't even know it was possible. I want to feel someone else's magic."

"Yes, if we went outside, I could release the hold I have over it, but I doubt Madame Pomphrey will allow you out."

"Why not? The only reason I'm still here is because I can't walk and you wanted me nearby for testing your potions. There's nothing wrong with me and no reason you can't just floo wherever I am. I want to go _home!_" Harry's magic pulsed around him once before he disappeared with a loud 'pop.'

"Did he just do what I think he did?" Sirius asked dumbly during the deafening silence as all three stared at the spot where Harry had just been.

"How's that even possible? Can you even apparate without meaning to?" Remus's quiet voice echoed loudly throughout the empty infirmary.

"It's possible because it's him we're talking about. And yes, I'd say you can accidentally apparate. I believe he's done it before as well if some stories are to be believed."

"Oh… So where'd he go?"

"Home… where's home to him? We have to find him. Lupin, check the Weasley's; Black, check Grimmauld Place. Be back here within an hour" Snape turned and walked towards the door.

"Wait. Severus! Where are you going to look?"

"The castle Lupin, why?"

"Let me check the castle Snape." Sirius said, approaching the man. "I know every hiding spot and secret passage in this school. I'll find him faster."

"Fine. I'll check Grimmauld then." Snape turned and headed instead into Madame Pomphrey's office to use the floo. Once her doors closed behind him, Sirius ran to the trunk at the foot of Harry's bed. He rummaged about inside it for a moment before drawing out the Marauder's Map with a joyful 'found it!'

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Sirius and Remus watched the map appear and quickly began checking over it for any sign of Harry. They didn't find him anywhere and slowly closed the map. "Moony, check with Molly. I'll go check the room of requirement and see if he showed up there. We never could get it to appear on the map."

"We'll find him Paddy. Don't worry." He hugged him once before setting out to the closest floo connection. Sirius followed a moment after to head to the room of requirement.

"Remus! What a lovely surprise! Would you like some lunch? I've just started cooking. It should be done in a few minutes."

"No thank you Molly… I was actually wondering if anyone happened to apparent in a few moments ago."

"Nope. It's just me here right now. Arthur took the kids to visit Bill and Fleur for the day; they're trying to get everyone settled on dress robes and sizes for the wedding. They should be back soon."

"And you haven't heard anyone apparate in?"

"Nope. No one's been in that I know of. The ghoul was banging on some pipes earlier, but it's been quiet for a few hours now. Why? Should I be expecting someone?"

"No, I was just looking for someone and he may have come here."

"I can help you look around if you'd like. If he appeared on the edge of the wards or upstairs I may not have heard him. Who is it I'm looking for?"

"Err…" Remus shifted his feet nervously before mumbling, "Harry," hoping she wouldn't hear him. She did.

"Remus John Lupin! I cannot believe you lost Harry!"

"I didn't—."

"Why was he apparating anyway? He's not yet 17 and he doesn't have his license!"

"Molly, I—."

"Why would you even take him off Hogwarts grounds? The poor dear is still getting over his attack and to put him in danger like that… How could you do such a thing?"

"Molly…" He waited a moment as if expecting her to interrupt again, but she seemed to be taking a small break from her ranting so he plunged ahead. "He apparated out of the hospital wing. Sirius, Severus, and I were talking to him and he got a bit upset and said he wanted to go home. Then he disappeared. We split up to check anywhere he could consider home."

"He apparated out of Hogwarts? _Hogwarts?__HOW?"_

"We have no idea, but what's important right now is finding Harry."

"I'll check the grounds. You go check the rooms upstairs for him, he normally stays with Ron or in the twins' room. Ron's is the orange one and the twins' is full of boxes and smells like smoke from their latest explosion."

"Thank you."

"Just go. I'll yell if I find him." She walked out of the kitchen and started searching the back yard. Remus watched for a moment longer before heading upstairs.

A half hour later, Remus and Mrs. Weasley met back in the kitchen: neither had seen any sign of Harry. Remus left the Weasley's with a promise from Molly to call when they found him and the knowledge that if he did show up at the Burrow, she's let them know. He crossed his fingers as he left, hoping one of the others had found the missing boy.

Severus stepped gracefully out of the floo into Grimmauld Place, his steps making the first disturbances in the dust coating the ground. The dust that should not have had time to settle yet since Lupin had been in the house up until Harry was brought to the hospital wing. He held his wand at the ready, his fear of being found by the wrong order members bringing out his spy nature, and moved from the empty kitchen to the stairs.

As he came up to the ground floor, he noticed that the dust had been disturbed. As he went to set foot out onto the landing, he was held back by an invisible barrier.

"You is not disturbing Dobby's trap. Dobby needs to find who is taking Master Harry's stuff. Master Harry did not like see it sold. Dobby be helping his kinds Master Harry."

"Dobby?" Severus looked down at the house elf, staring intently at the hallway ahead of them, in shock.

"Yes sir, I's Dobby. You be disturbing Dobby's trap. Dobby cannot let you out of stairwell. Dobby needs to find who steals."

"For your master, Harry? I was unaware that you were bound to him."

"Oh, Dobby is not bound. Dobby serves Master Harry on Dobby's own. Dobby loves Dobby's Master Harry. Master Harry is kind to Dobby." Dobby suddenly spun around and looked up at Snape for the first time. "You is not allowed here. You be killing the Headmaster. Master Harry will not be wanting you in his house." Dobby gasped loudly. "You no hurt Master Harry! You cannot be here for you will hurt Master Harry when he comes back. You must be going now!" With a snap of his fingers Dobby threw Snape back down the stairs into the kitchen, appearing right beside him a moment after he landed.

"Dobby, I'm here to help Harry, not hurt him! Dumbledore told me to kill him and Harry knows this, he has forgiven me already."

"Dobby does not believe you. Master Harry would not forgive murder! Master Harry would not be seeing you until school. Master Harry spend summer at aunt and uncle house. You is lying to Dobby." Dobby used his magic to send some of the knives flying towards Snape's head.

"I'm not lying." Severus' voice came out as a low growl and he carefully dodged the flying utensils. "Harry was at his aunt and uncle's, but he was brought to Hogwarts almost two weeks ago because he was attacked." He dodged the knives as they came back for another try at beheading him and then continued his explanation. "We healed him as much as possible, but now he's missing. I came here to look for him!"

"Master Harry be hurting and Dobby not be knowing? Oh, Dobby is a bad elf, Dobby is. Dobby must be making up for Dobby's mistakes, Dobby must find Master Harry!" Dobby snapped his fingers and disappeared.

"Great." Snape mumbled to himself as he brushed off the dust from his tumble to the floor and then headed back up towards the ground floor again. When he reached the landing, he found the he, once again, could not pass the end of the staircase. "Just great." He turned around again, stormed back into the kitchen, and proceeded to floo back to the hospital wing.

Snape entered the hospital wing from Poppy's office to find Remus already waiting for him, looking just as unsuccessful as he himself had been.

"It appears Mr. Potter has given us both the slip. Shall we go endeavor to find Black to see if he had better luck?"

"I wasn't expecting you back for another fifteen minutes or so, Grimmauld place is rather large. Did you search every room?"

"I was not given the chance to search more than the kitchen. His pet elf has set up a trap for anyone sneaking in to steal his "Master Harry's stuff." He would not let me past the end of the stairwell and then popped off to places unknown to find his 'Master Harry' leaving his trap in place. If Mr. Potter had shown there he would have known."

"Did Dobby give you any trouble other than refusing to allow you to search the house?" Remus smiled knowingly at Severus. Severus just sneered at him and stalked off towards the doors leading to the rest of Hogwarts. "If I know Sirius, he's most likely holed up in the Room of Requirement by now. Let's go see if he had better luck."

They walked up to the seventh floor in absolute silence. When they were arrived at the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy, they turned to the opposite wall to see a door cracked open. As one, they moved to the door and pushed it open to see Sirius inside surrounded by what appeared to be various prank products.

"Moony!" He exclaimed upon seeing his old friend. "Look, all our old joke stuff is still here! Do you think Harry would like it? Where is he by the way? Did you leave him in the hospital wing when you came to find me?"

"No Black, he's not in the hospital wing. Neither of us had any luck in finding him and were hoping that you had managed to do so. That appears to have been a waste of time."

"Moony!" Sirius whimpered. "Did you have to bring him with you?"

"Yes Paddy, I did. He's just as worried about Harry as you are," here Severus sneered and Remus just smiled indulgently, "even though he'll refuse it until his last breath. Since Harry's obviously not here with you, where else can we check for him?" The three sat in silence, contemplating where else Harry might call home. Eventually they left the safety of the Room of Requirement to head back to the hospital wing in hopes Mrs. Weasley had managed to find him.

"Master Harry's Remi and Siri!" Their return was delayed by Dobby's incessant calling that began the moment they set foot outside the room. "Dobby has been looking for sirs. Dobby finds Master Harry, but Master Harry says he cannot come back. Yous must help Master Harry! Master Harry is hurting!"

"Harry's hurt? Where is he?" Sirius practically shouted at the hysterical house elf.

"Master Harry be crying. Dobby not knowing what be hurting Master Harry. Master Harry is at Godric's Hollow."

"He's in Godric's Hollow? Alone?" Remus was horrified at the notion.

"Yes sirs."

"Thank you Dobby. We'll go get him."

"Master Harry's Remi is too kind! Just like Master Harry he is. Dobby will go now." Dobby disappeared from the hallway, leaving three shocked men behind.

"Well then, I guess we're going to Godric's Hollow." Remus and Severus took off down the hallway, heading towards the main gates from where they could apparate. Sirius stayed behind for a moment longer to take a few fortifying breaths.

"Godric's Hollow," was whispered into the air before he was running down the hall to catch up to his two companions.

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A/N: Let me know what you think! I appreciate any and all reviews. Sorry about the delay on this chapter, and just as a warning it will most likely be a few weeks before you get a new one, possibly December. 


	7. Chapter 6: Healing Harry, Part 2

Sorry about all the deletes and re-loads, but for some reason, it's refusing to do what I want it to and show the actual chapter. For those of you who get update alerts, I apologize for however many you got just for this one chapter.

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Chapter 6: Healing Harry, Part 2

With a loud pop, the three wizards appeared at the ruined site of the Potter's house in Godric's Hollow. They looked around the outskirts of the wreckage carefully for any signs of tripped trap wards or possible attack, and upon finding nothing, even while using magic scans, turned their attention to the center of the dilapidated house. Just as Dobby had said, Harry was sitting in the middle of the ruins, crying.

"Harry?" Remus spoke softly so as not to startle the distraught boy. Harry immediately looked up at the soft whisper and smiled teary-eyed at the three adults.

"I guess Dobby spoke to you then?" Then a small giggle escaped from him and at the curious glances he received, he explained. "You're a rather odd rescue squad. There's a werewolf shunned by society for something completely out of his control, an Azkaban escapee who's on the run for a crime he never committed—after coming back from the dead of course—and a Death Eater proclaimed innocent of a crime he did commit. Even you have to agree you're a rather ragtag group."

"You have a rather odd sense of humor Harry." Sirius exclaimed in false exasperation as he threw up his hands. That just caused Harry to laugh even harder, chasing away the last signs of tears from his face as his tears of misery were replaced by tears of mirth.

"Alright you idiots. This Gryffindor love fest has been declared completely unnecessary and therefore over. We need to get Potter back to Hogwarts before Poppy notices he's gone missing and chases after all our hides."

"She's just a big softie Sevvie! I can't believe that you, Mr. Death Glare ™ are cowed by the Dragon Lady." Severus's only response was a sneer in Sirius's direction as he flicked his wand a few times to clean Harry of the dirt he had been lying in and levitate him off the ground and over to the threesome.

"You know what? I could get used to all this free transportation. I mean, anytime I want to go anywhere, I get floated around."

"Shut up Potter. The levitation is just a temporary solution until we can come up with something more permanent that you can maneuver on your own."

"Well then, I'll just have to be a bad Gryffy and a good little Slytherin to take advantage of it while I can. Aren't you proud of me?"

"You have a lot to learn about being a Slytherin Potter. Yes, Slytherins know how to use a situation to their own advantages, but they also have a great deal of self preservation—something you are severely lacking. When you stop rushing head long into situations where you're liable to get yourself killed, I will admit to being proud."

"I do so have self-preservation. After all, I didn't start calling you Sevvie like Sirius did." That response got him a Death Glare ™ from Severus and desperate shushing motions from his godfather. Harry almost laughed outright at the evil look that came over Severus's face, but he 

held his mirth until the look was directed at Sirius. Only then did he let himself grin unrepentantly before stage whispering to Remus "Can you get us out of here before Snape attacks?"

"That I can Harry. I'm not so sure I want to be here when that happens either." That said, Remus plucked Harry from the air and apparated them back to the gates of Hogwarts. He wasn't fast enough, however, to completely miss Sirius's muttered 'coward' or Severus's evil laughter that followed.

Rather than pulling out his wand and levitating Harry back up to the hospital wing, Remus just shifted the hold he had on him and continued carrying him bridal style back into the safety of Hogwarts. As they approached the hospital wing, they heard Madame Pomphrey's distinctive shriek as she noticed her missing charge, and then heard a rant begin. As they listened to her mutterings about needing to teach meddling godfathers and potions masters that when a patient is supposed to be resting in bed, it means not to take the aforementioned patient out of the wing before getting her permission. Just a few minutes later, after listening to her pick up steam in her imaginary tongue lashing, they noticed two things. One, the mutterings were gaining in volume and two, two sets of distinctive footsteps were coming up behind them.

"Watch this." Remus winked at Harry before stepping around the corner and continuing on towards the hospital wing. A sharp intake of breath behind them and a hurriedly whispered, 'Moony No!' had Harry smirking over Remus's shoulder as his godfather hurried to catch up and stop Remus. Unfortunately for Sirius, Remus completely ignored him and as he turned the last corner and made it into the hall containing the hospital wing, he shouted for Poppy. As she came bustling out in a full huff, both Remus and Harry were forced to hold in their laughter and look sorry.

"Remus John Lupin. I cannot believe you would take an obviously convalescing patient under my care from the hospital wing. You know better than that! What do you have to say for yourself?" Remus took the time to place Harry on his bed before turning to face the matron's wrath.

"I didn't take him. I simply found him after I returned from a visit to the Burrow and realized he should be returned to you. After all, this _is_ where he belongs."

"Well… I…" Her eyes took on a strange glint. "And in whose company did you find him?"

"Why Sirius and Severus of course. Granted, they were mostly ignoring him and fighting with each other when I left… but they were both there."

"I'll go have a chat with the two of them in just a moment, but first, Harry it's time for more potions." She handed him a tray of potions and then left him under Remus's watchful eyes as she stormed off to berate a certain potions master and godfather. Together, Harry and Remus enjoyed listening to her tongue lashing of almost Howler like volumes as she found the two cowering around just a few corners.

It was almost an hour later when Severus and Sirius finally made their way into the hospital wing and sat down in the chairs by Harry's bedside, sporting twin glares for Remus. Harry just 

laughed along, laughing even harder as he heard Sirius's sputter and following 'traitor.' As soon as Harry was able to stop laughing, and he and Remus had gotten a reluctant Sirius and Severus to admit the prank had been a good one, the hospital wing took on a more serious tone.

"I do believe that we need to discus both the how and why of your appearance at Godric's Hollow." At Harry's downturned face and reluctant nod of acknowledgement Severus turned his attention to the other two men in the room. "Well? What are you two waiting for?" That got him no response. "Black. Lupin. OUT!"

"But you just said—."

"I am well aware of what I said Black. The trigger to the whole episode occurred during one of our sessions, even though we had yet to label them as such. To discuss, it will mean our first official session. Now I know you're not the brightest of the bunch, but I'm sure even you remember that he doesn't want you here for those?"

"Harry?" Sirius turned pleading eyes on his godson.

"I'm sorry Siri, please, just go."

"Come on Paddy, we'll come back later. Take it easy Harry and please, no more vanishing acts today? Us old geezers just can't take the strain? With that final parting shot, Remus fled from the hospital wing, dragging along a bewildered Sirius.

"I'm going to kill that werewolf when I get my hands on him. First I get an hour long lecture and then I get called old." He pinched the bridge of his nose, only looking up when he heard Harry attempting to smother his laughter. "Please, explain." Snape practically growled once Harry had calmed.

"Sorry professor… it's just… you." He burst into laughter again. After a few short calming breaths Harry started again. "It's just funny that for the first time you're acting like a child who just got grounded and a severe scolding from his mother… and Remi called you old!" he giggled again, stopping in shock when Snape snorted in what Harry assumed to be amusement.

"Interesting analogy Harry. In the future, I shall endeavor to act my age at all times and will most definitely not act like a recalcitrant child." After that statement, Harry looked at Snape in shock.

"Did you just make a joke sir?"

"It is a distinct possibility, but if you even think of informing your godfather, I will deny it whole heartedly and give you detention for even suggesting such a thing."

"Understood." Harry grinned widely at his least favorite professor, a grin that spread even wider upon seeing the shocked look upon Snape's face when he saw the first grin.

"Very well. Are you ready to move on Harry?" The grin disappeared completely from Harry's face, only to be replaced by a look of wariness. "We need to talk about this, putting it off will only make it harder as your fears and reactions get further inscribed in your mind."

"But wouldn't talking about it now be too soon, making it more likely that I'll panic again?"

"Nice try brat. For things like a panic attack, and yes, that was just a really big panic attack, talking about what set you off while it's fresh in your mind will allow us to figure out what the problem is. If you don't talk about them right away, you'll just remember the feelings of the fear and panic and not what caused the reaction. So. Feel free to start."

"People always hide things from me. All during my fifth year, Professor Dumbledore knew that in all likelihood, Voldemort was capable of possessing me… or able to access my thoughts. Instead of just telling me this, and explaining why he wanted me to take up Occlumency, he just avoided me and passed me off to you." He stopped his explanation to look up at Snape in fear. "I'm sorry about the pensieve sir. I didn't know they were your thoughts and memories. I was just looking for an explanation for my dreams, and the pensieve gave off light and images that looked so similar. I couldn't stop myself, it was like I needed to go inside and see how the dream ended. I never told anyone, I swear!"

"Hush child. You're rambling." Indeed, Harry's face continued to panic further the more he tried to explain his reasoning behind invading his professor's privacy. "I overreacted when you entered my pensieve and before you continue to attempt to apologize, let me explain. Within that pensieve, I had placed hundreds of memories of Death Eater meetings, along with the memory you saw. That was really the only personal memory within and I was so relieved and finding you there and not in another, that I used anger as a way to cover it up and yank you out of there before you could fall into another of my memories."

"You weren't mad? But you threw a jar of cockroaches at me!"

"I was slightly angry, yes. You had just seen my most haunting memory, dredging up all those feelings, and I was unable to explain it to you because I was supposed to be a horrible, impersonal professor. I couldn't be caught playing nice with the boy-who-lived, and right then, there was every chance another student of mine would be returning. I already had one in the hospital wing with some sort of brain injury; I couldn't send another in with a fresh obliviate for seeing me discussing my 'feelings' with a student." The intense scorn placed on the word feelings caused Harry to smile.

"You would have obliviated someone if they had found you being nice?"

"Yes."

"That's one way to keep your 'Greasy Bastard' image."

"Indeed."

"There was a quiet moment where Harry quashed his desire to apologize profusely to his professor and said professor tried not to laugh at the look on his student's face. The silence ended when Sever, after taking pity on his distressed student, turned the subject back to the original point by saying 'please return to your explanation.'

"No one tells me anything… So after foisting me off onto you, he completely ignored me for the rest of the year. A year in which I was under constant attack from my defense teacher and frequently saw what was going on in Voldemort's head. The one time he spared me any explanation was the night he left the school and that was just to tell me that he had to leave but I should stay here and keep my head down… or something to that effect. The next time he told me anything important was the night Sirius died when he promised not to withhold information from me."

"He's not dead, Harry." Severus interjected carefully into the growing silence.

"But he was. He fell through the veil and didn't come back out. He told me he'd always be there and then he left. Everyone always leaves." Harry said, hysterical.

"They don't leave you because they hate you so get that idea out of your head right now. Everyone who you think has left you has done so as a way to protect you, and prolong your life. It is a show of their love for you, and you're belittling their sacrifice by thinking such things."

"'M sorry." Even though Harry's head was bowed, Severus still heard the tell tale sniffle and saw his shoulders begin to shake.

"Harry, I didn't say that so you could once again place all the blame on your shoulders. There's no need for apologies, you accepting their love and getting rid of the guilt and feelings of no self worth is all anyone wants. It's all your parents would want. You shouldn't blame yourself for events and people you have no control over. The only actions you should take responsibility for are your own, and you have done nothing deserving of any punishment." Harry was still crying, and so, with a sigh of his own, Severus moved from his chair at the side of the bed, to the bed next to Harry and pulled him into a hug.

The two of them sat in silence, one grieving as he had never allowed himself, and the other staying a solid support. About half an hour later, Harry pulled away from his potions master and wiped at his eyes before staring resolutely at his lap.

"Harry, there is no shame in crying, and in fact it is much healthier for you to let all those feelings out than keep them bottled inside as you have done for many years. Even the strongest of us need the support of others upon occasion."

"Thank you sir."

"It is what I am here for. I may not be your head of house, or anyone to which you have strong ties, but I am always here for you should you find yourself in need of my services. I do believe you already knew that, however, seeing as you accepted my offer of help."

"Yes, sir."

"Now that you're feeling better, how about we return to your earlier panic attack and subsequent disappearance from the hospital wing? At this rate, your godfather is going to think I've poisoned you and am attempting to hide the body."

"I bet he's waiting just outside the doors and has Remus waiting outside so he knows if you try any 'funny business' just to that effect."

"It's good to see you have as much faith in your godfather as I do."

"I have plenty of faith in him; after all, he was willing to give up his life for me…" A silence took over the conversation again before Harry once again picked up the threads of his story. "I just happen to know he's a little overprotective when it comes to me and would rather believe the worst in people, especially you." Snape nodded once in agreement before giving Harry a pointed stare.

"Since I've always had important information withheld from me, despite being at the center of the war and therefore the one person that should know more than anyone else, learning that there was one more thing that no one had told me made me a little upset. Add to that the fact that the reason I'm in this whole situation and have to learn how to live all over again… well I wasn't exactly in a good mind frame and it dredged up memories of living with the Dursleys. That would be the cause of the panic attack, or flashback. Whatever you want to call it."

"It was a panic attack which triggered a flashback. Naming it, however, is less important than figuring out ways to keep such a thing from happening again. Continue please."

"Right. So after my brush with insanity," here Harry received a glare and he sighed before correcting himself. "Fine. After my episode. Happy?"

"Not particularly, but it is better than calling yourself insane."

"Right, well after _that_ whole thing happened, I learned that my magic is going seriously wonky and things that I had always thought to be true weren't. There has always been so much magic floating around Hogwarts, such strength, that the thought that it was actually all mine scared the crap out of me. Combine that with my still not so calm state after the earlier mess and I just went right back to being...well… I guess distraught works. The magic I've always felt in Hogwarts flared up when I said home and poof I was gone. It really wasn't my magic at all… I guess that's why I always thought I was sensing Hogwarts' magic or something."

"What do you mean the magic wasn't yours?"

"When I was little, this one time I was running away from Dudley and his gang. I wound up on the rooftop of the school. Now I can recognize what I did as apparition, and I can recognize my own magic as the catalyst for that jump. When I wound up at Godric's Hollow it wasn't my doing at all." At Snape's almost panicked glance, not that he would ever tell him that there was an expression on his face, Harry rushed to explain. "It wasn't evil or anything. It felt like the castle… or like the castle's always felt to me. Almost like a mother's hug embracing me. So I felt that and then I was in Godric's Hollow. Sitting there and staring at the destruction surrounding the place where I used to live. That's all I know."

"Harry, look at me please." Harry looked up from where he had been fiddling with his blankets and met his professor's eyes squarely. "Don't be afraid to tell me something just because you're 

not sure how I will respond. Anything you feel, even if it sounds crazy to you, I want you to tell me, understand? I promise not to judge you."

"Yes sir."

"Can you still feel that magic Harry? Can you still feel Hogwarts?" When Harry nodded and opened his mouth to answer, Snape held up his hand for him to wait just a moment. "Along with Hogwarts' magic, can you feel anything else, just in this room?"

"I can feel my own magic. I can always feel my magic running through me and can direct it to certain parts of my body. It's how I've been able to heal injuries in the past so my Uncle wouldn't hurt me worse for not being able to finish the chores."

"Can you feel my magic?"

"No sir. But I shouldn't be able to right? Didn't you say earlier that you kept it pulled in all the time?"

"Yes I did. I was merely curious as to what you can sense around you and if subconsciously you could sense other's magical levels. We'll discuss this more later. Right now, I'm more concerned about your panic attack and the cause of it, and how frequently it seems you face them."

"I never said they were frequent, sir. I merely stated that I knew how to handle them. I've been having similar attacks for years… minus the flying debris in most cases."

"Years?" There was an unknown quality to Severus's voice that Harry couldn't quite determine the cause of, but he just shrugged noncommittally and turned back to the bed sheets. "Harry, I can't help you if you don't answer me."

"Fine. It's been years alright? I may have said just enough to you when you asked last week to get you to make the assumption that it was only this summer and maybe a bit last summer, but in reality I've been abused ever since I can remember. Excuse me for not wanting to share all my deep dark secrets with someone I barely know!

"The first time I had a flashback I was 7. The memory was of when Uncle Vernon came home from work drunk one night and paid a visit to me in my cupboard to give me a few smacks, and instead of just giving me a few bruises, he actually caused my lung to collapse. I was in agony for the next few _months_ because of that night and every day he piled more and more chores onto my list because I wasn't working hard enough, or fast enough and he thought that giving me more to do would make me into the perfect house elf!

"The flashback happened when he once again came to visit when he was drunk. I freaked, remembering the last time he'd been in there and went into my head somewhere. When I came back out of it hours later, my entire body was one giant bruise. Let me tell you that having a flashback of something happening as it's actually happening again is not a pleasant experience. My life fucking sucks. Get used to it and stop prying for more information. You're supposed to be helping me, not drudging up the horrors I went through as a child." Harry's chest was heaving with the force of his breaths as he calmed down from his tirade. When he calmed down enough 

to no longer be exuding magic, he looked up and what he saw shocked him to the core. The professor he once thought unflappable looked horrified by his story.

"Professor?"

"I'm sorry Harry. Your story just hit a little too close to home for me. My father was always more abusive towards my mother and I when he was drunk. I had always sworn to myself that I would never let another child go through that. I had thought that I was watching all my students for signs that they were facing such horrors and to know that I missed a case so bad… If I missed you who else may I have missed?"

"Professor, I hid everything to do with my home life from everyone. By the time I came to school each year, I was completely healed, whether by conscious direction of my magic or by him purposefully not hitting me starting at least two weeks before I was due back. The flashbacks never happened unless I was in his or Dudley's presence, and the only people to ever get suspicious were the Weasleys when they came to pick me up in second year. I just told them that they were worried about magical attacks and therefore locked me in my room for protection… what I didn't tell them was that the protection was for them from me. I've gotten rather good at misdirection."

"Aren't I supposed to be making you feel better?"

"Well. Who's to say this isn't helping me? Plus, the only reason you missed me is probably because you refused to see it, instead convincing yourself that I was exactly like my father. You haven't missed any others in the school… especially since the rest of them are Slytherins. I'm sure if I had been sorted there you would have caught it as well."

"I shouldn't have been so prejudiced. It caused a child pain."

"So, remember that for next time a rival's child comes to learn from you. Until then, there's nothing you can do. Just… help me now and it will make up for it alright?"

"When did you become so smart about this?"

"I'm always smart when it's not dealing with my own issues."

"Well then, time to stop dwelling on the past and help with what is and we can still change. We'll talk about your flashbacks more later. For now, we need to move on to the other reaction that you had to your considerable distress today. Can you tell me anything?"

"I've never really had anywhere to call my home. A home is a place where you can go and be loved, surrounded by family members, and you're safe there. I can never consider the Dursley's home. I would have thought Grimmauld Place or the Weasley's, but no one there is really my family by blood, just by thought, action, and deed, which admittedly is very powerful and welcome. It's really sad that Godric's Hollow, a place I can't even remember, is the last place I truly considered home. I don't suppose I could get any safer than with parents who loved me so much they'd die for me, right?"

"And what about Hogwarts? I notice you left that out of your explanation, despite describing the magic you've been feeling as a motherly hug."

"I'd always considered Hogwarts my home as it's the first place I could escape the Dursleys and make friends… but I've never been safe here."

"Uncle Sev?" Draco's voice echoed across the hospital wing.

"I'll be right back. Severus got up and walked over to where his godson was standing and wringing his hands. Harry completely ignored everything going on over there the minute Severus was out of his line of sight and instead focused his thoughts to his inner turmoil.

One question kept popping up in his head more than the others. _Why isn't Hogwarts home?_ There was really only one answer to that, _because it's never been completely safe, because despite how welcome and loved I've felt here, I've never gotten to feel the love of a parent… because of Voldemort._

Harry felt as if he was enveloped in a giant hug and being showered with all the motherly love and affection anyone could ever dream of, and he only had a split second and to shout out 'Severus! Draco!' in warning before everything spun. When all three of them landed outside the gates of Hogwarts, with a surprised and _alive_ Headmaster standing in front of them, the only thought that came to their minds was '_Shit.'_

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A/N: Like it? Love it? Hate it? Want to kill me for waiting so long in between updates? Let me know! I want your reviews and anything you can tell me about how to make it better! Please point out any grammar mistakes to me as I still don't have a beta and I was rushing through this chapter to get it up before it took even longer... Speaking of the length of time, I'm sorry about how extraordinarily long it took for me to update, but I had way too many ideas floating around in my head about what to do next and couldn't decide on any one, so to get anything written I was having to force the words out, and I really don't like doing that as I feel it makes the story less real and less... loved I suppose works. So unfortunately, you guys had to deal with the reverse of writers block from me. Hopefully it will be a lot less time until the next update, but I won't make any promises.

Thanks for sticking with me!


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